Rejuvenating On A Monday

Wasn't it just a week ago I was half-asleep wandering to Lisa's because she had to drop Silvia to LAX at 5:30 in the morning and I had to watch Johnnie... and take him to school... and take Lisa to her medical appointment? Today I finally got to make up for the past couple of weeks of hecticity (is that a word?). I got into the usual Monday meditative space. But instead of just focusing on the week and how I visualized it to be eezy-peezy, I also got to focus on other things. Mainly about the root causes of my own FEAR and ANGER. It seemed like I was getting gently nudged into examining these negative emotions that still permeate my day-to-day.  Which is why I went back and sort of created a logo. Create AMAZING. That is what I want to be the cornerstone thought of my day-to-day. And because I was able to focus on that I think, I had one of those contemplative in-the-moment kind of days typical of some Fridays. Maybe it was because I had just done all the must-do stuff this morning yesterday already. That would be approving timecards, doing the HRSA Survey, vaccine stock, blah blah. It made for a clear morning. Of course I still had to do steps as per routine. But I found that to be effortless too. As in I was already at 65+ active minutes after just 5000 steps by 9 AM. Even the rest of the morning seemed to be spent on RELEASING. Ego Dissolution. Letting go of FEAR and ANGER trapped in my physical body. AND also focusing on the images I want. How it would feel knowing I have optimal health and having no worries about any disease. Not thinking about the stuff I had focused on in my urinary system practically most of this year to date. How it would feel if I had created financial flow such that I don't have to work for a job anymore. And this morning would be what it is like EVERY MORNING. That put a smile on my face. I DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID. I AM ENOUGH. and THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS HAS MY BACK. In the meantime, I THANK my SMALLER SELF or EGO or whatever it is that creates chaos in my life. IT GOT ME TO PAY ATTENTION. Even Lisa's dramatics is something PUSHED OUT and NEEDS ATTENTION. Maybe not Lisa even specifically. But my own attention. I know i will get tested. My work is to stay the course.

Spectating Today; REST DAY

I went home from Lisa's feeling just fine. But by the time I was about to fall asleep and not even an hour after I had gotten home, I had developed a pain in my lower left abdomen, right around where my bladder was. At first it was a dull ache, which I have had before and which would have been easy enough to ignore. And then the pain level went from 3 to maybe a 6 or 7. Not searing pain, but enough not to ignore, and enough to keep me from falling asleep. What the heck was this now? Immediately, I thought prostate, but my thinking said no. And then stones came up, but the pain was in a different area. Not in my back when I have had kidney stones flareups in the past. This was more towards the front. Is it still stones? Immediately I went through a whole arsenal of fields and audios which addressed the pain and the physical condition. But then I went through the emotional underlying causes. What I got was that if bladder, then it's ANGER, if it's kidney then it's FEAR. And it could very well be both. What was bringing up anger? I thought about the last meeting of Friday, which was the IS Audit meeting Did THAT trigger an anger response underneath? Did I repress that somehow? And then the FEAR response... was that in relation to my job? I did an entire round of tapping on this stuff. First I went through flushes and negative energy clearing videos, then reverse negative effect videos, then a tapping script to remove underlying energies to bladder/kidney/urinary tract issues, then at least 3 videos on rife frequencies specific to urinary problems, and then reiki healing to release anger and fear, and finally, a frequency video from Elke Neher to unblock the bladder meridian. After that last one, I could finally feel my bladder sort of relax and the energy go through. The thing was that this entire deal took at least 3 hours. And by the time I finally was able to get some sleep it was almost 4 AM in the morning. The good thing was that I think I was able to heal myself, at least mostly. There was still a residual feeling of a dull ache, but it was no more than a 2. And when I woke up at 7 AM, I felt much better. I realized I needed to go to Lisa's house to pick up Johnnie since it was a Saturday work day for Lisa. But when I got to her house, no mom, no son, no dog. I guess they had taken off. And then I saw her text that they had left early and I'm supposed to pick up Johnnie at her office. Ok then. I picked them up and was reminded to have them back by 12:30 because Heidi and her boys were there and were hanging out after their procedures. I saw it as a pretty good sign because I was now running on fumes already from lack of sleep. This way I still get some time with Johnnie and then I have the rest of the day to veg out and recover. 

And so off we went to a usual Saturday routine. Breakfast at Elysee, carwash, grocery shopping at Sprouts. And we got all that done well before 10 AM. And when we got home, Johnnie immediately went to his Pokemon videos. I mostly stayed on the couch and drifted in and out of nap/sleep while he watched videos until I realized we had to leave to get lunch since I needed to drop him off by 12:30. Off we went to Panda Express to get him his teriyaki chicken and I tried to make do with a tuna sandwich. I wasn't hungry though. I was tired. And I also realized that although I felt much better than last night and the pain had pretty much subsided, I knew my body was also recovering as well. And so I HAPPILY dropped off Johnnie and Claire at Lisa's house and went back home to repeat last night's regimen just to make sure. Audios and frequencies to clear emotional blockages. Oh and I ate the rest of Johnnie's teriyaki chicken too. He had left half of the bowl. I guess he wasn't so hungry. I pretty much stayed on the couch the rest of the afternoon. Watched the movie Thirteen Lives about those kids in Thailand who were trapped in a flooded cave a couple of years back and the international effort to save them. High drama. And then I watched the Dodgers dismantle the Padres again. I even put up a picture of that one from the Stadium. Made it feel like I was there on a pretty afternoon. But I wasn't going to be moving around much today. And with that breaks a streak of doing at least 10,000+ steps. Not that I hadn't done less than 10,000. but this time I stopped at less than 6000. And the last time I did that was when I was sick many years ago or when I was suffering from something. My total active minutes for today? 1 minute. I figured I had had a pretty active week, a long week in fact. And I ran around like crazy. I could stand a REST DAY. With a normal day tomorrow, I'd still be averaging well in terms of steps and active minutes. I had some pasta and turkey bolognese, and caught up on rest and caught up on sleep.

The Pain Is Back

And so this morning I was tired and still in some pain. I went to bed like that last night and focusing on the pain only made it worse. And kept me from going to sleep. I started to get really anxious and started to try all kinds of stuff. I slept on my left side, after reading an article about how the was supposed to help a kidney stone pass. It did help me with the peeing though, as if my kidney kept pushing out pee. But evidently not kidney stones, if the was, in fact, it. I tried to do meditation to dull the effects of the ache, but no go. And then I tried morphic fields to help break up kidney stones. And finally after a while, I even tried the morphic field to cancel any morphic fields and affirmations. I felt like it worked the last time I was dealing with an ache in my back that I attributed to kidney stones. That was a couple of weeks ago. And I thought then that the ache was due to morphic fields bumping into one another. And I thought I needed to reset and cancel everything. And the thing was right after I did the cancellation morphic field, the pain went away. And so right or wrong, I thought that was what solved my issue then and I thought it would solve my issue now. Tonight Turned out that it didn't. And so I was just hoping to get a couple of hours of sleep in just so I could have enough energy to take Johnnie to school in the morning. I think it was 3 AM by the time I did get to sleep and when I woke up the pain wasn't so bad. But it was definitely still there. It was like it was now down to a 4, from the 6 that I thought it had been before I went to bed. Unbelievable! Just 24 hours ago I was revealing in the fact that my RHR was now 60, the lowest it had been in a very VERY long time and so I felt like I was really in a healthy kind of place. Maybe it was just the thought of that triggered my monkey brain to manufacture an illness to convince me otherwise. And so this morning the pain had dissipated just enough so I could do the morning drop-off to school for Johnnie uneventfully. But seemingly on cue, when I got home, the pain ramped up again. So again I hit the internet, looking for anything and everything not only to relieve the pain but to address the underlying cause of it. Is it something emotional? Is it last night's interaction with Lisa? I did muscle testing on all these things seemingly without getting to my answers. I tried reflexology on my feet, and that actually felt like it relieved the pain some. For a few minutes. I tried to do charged water, I did another morphic field specific to kidney stones. I was throwing the kitchen sink at this thing.

I do not know what specific modality actually worked. But after lunch I could sense the pain dissipating some. And finally by mid-afternoon, it was 90% gone. But I felt really tired too. So I had an idea it must have been one of the things I tried this morning. It wasn't until later than that though that I ran into this YouTube video on balancing the root chakra. And when I listened to it, I felt it activate something. And then it was like I felt the pain leave my body. I should have known it was the root chakra. All morning I was having sensation of coldness in my legs and feet. Like they weren't getting blood or something like that. I was also feeling muscle fatigue in my legs. So whatever was happening, it wasn't just my kidneys, it was also extending to my lower extremities. That was why I felt like the root chakra stuff could have helped. And I think it DID at that. At least I had enough energy to make Johnnie dinner. Penne pasta in chicken noodle broth. Augmented by some fried chicken from Ralphs. I made myself a salmon salad. The thing was that as the night wore on, I was getting more tired. As in I wanted to go to bed at 7 PM! The only things keeping me from doing so was that (a) Johnnie kept hounding me all night. Of course he did. He wanted to play. (b) I realized that I was barely at 7800 steps and I still had about a mile and a half of walking to go. When my legs felt the way they did, that seemed IMPOSSIBLE! I trudged on though even though it felt like I was walking through mud. My legs were really heavy! I slogged through step after agonizing step. And finally I did manage to get to 11,000 steps after all. I was working so hard I actually logged 101 active minutes. That's because my heart rate elevated easily and stayed elevated every time I took a few steps. Fortunately I did get through all that and by the time I prepped Johnnie for bedtime, I could barely keep my own eyelids from staying open. And OBTW I reminded myself that I had the webinar to do tomorrow. And I haven't gone over the slides since I put them together last week. But I fell asleep right as I put my head on my pillow. At 10 PM. I need to catch up on my rest. At least by this time, I felt like I had passed a kidney stone. And my insides felt healthy again. Like they used to anyway.

A Quick Healing

So as I mentioned in yesterday's post, I felt like I had to undo the morphic field which I did and which I believe caused the pain in my kidneys. A reboot and a reset such as it were. I needed to reboot my internal computer. Fortunately I found a morphic field, a program to do just that. And when I woke up in the middle of the night? There was no more pain! And when I woke up this morning, there was no pain. It was as if yesterday never happened. If anything convinced me even more that morphic fields are real, yesterday was it. You can call it or perceive it however you like. Magic, spells, subtle energies, blah blah. I will call them morphic fields. They sound more scientific then LOL. I was almost surprised. I mean when I think about it, how much of past "illnesses" could have been morphic fields? How much of those could I have easily gotten rid off with the right programming? And the fact that my event happened so quickly, in such a very short period of time, in less than 24 hou4s, makes it even more possible to me that things like spontaneous healings could be real. I mean what do we really know is really possible? The problem is I HAVE been listening to other people's morphic fields, but then those are off YouTube. I mean, how do I really know what was infused into these fields? It's like listening to someone else's affirmations and subliminals. Maybe, it would work. But what if there are affirmations in there that are out of sync with whatever is going on with you? What would happen then? More than likely that which happened to me yesterday. And so I thought the only way to be sure was to create your own subliminals and affirmations yourself. And converting those to morphic fields by another morphic field. And so this morning I did just that. I did my own "wellness" affirmation/subliminal. Recorded them in my Mac's voice memos, converted them to mp3s. Then downloaded some rain audio for background noise. Overlayed those 2 tracks with Audacity, lowering the volume of my affirmations so they could barely be heard. And then put in some rain videos for good measure using iMovie. And then the whole thing was exported as a video and uploaded to YouTube. So NOW I have my own healing affirmations as subliminals. And it took under an hour to do. I could do all kinds of these. But first, I have to test them. And I do that now...

All that stuff I did all before lunch, and by the time I got done with lunch, I didn't really feel like working at all. Call it a TANK TUESDAY such as it were. What do I do on a TANK TUESDAY? Well today I went to the Century City mall. Bought myself another pair of shorts which cost me $15. And picked up a pair for Johnnie too for $10. But the real reason I went was to pick up a large container from the Container Store. I needed something to store Johnnie's comforter and pillows and blankets. Those things are so big. They are for a queen bed after all. And so with this new container, I could put all these beddings away quickly and right next to the sofa bed. Much more organized this way. The whole trip to Century City took all of a half hour there and back. I was back by 2 PM. And so I spent the rest of the afternoon catching up my steps. I mean, now that I felt SOOO much better than yesterday, it was much much easier. And then I waited until 5 PM when it was time to pick up Johnnie from school. Of course I had other tasks on my mind too. I have a webinar to do next week. And I'm only mostly finished with the first part. I still have the second part to do. And then I get reminders. Barbara via TEAMs asking me about outstanding stuff. I was not all that worried about either. I wasn't all that worried about anything really. Why worry when I KNOW I can effect my. own outcomes. The trick is not to let EGO get in the way and to keep getting more information and to practice what I think I know. The trick is not to let FEAR get in the way. Tonight it was more like routine. Getting Johnnie his dinner at Panda Express. But even THAT was practice. I thought about getting a parking spot in the first deck at the mall. And then not dealing with traffic on the way back. Which is exactly what happened. Not only did I get a spot, I got the FIRST spot. And then coming home was pretty easy too.  And after dinner, we did an errand. I printed Johnnie's family picture for Thursday stuff-at-school day. It was a picture of our family, Lisa - Johnnie - and me, and his birth parents and their family. It's as good a family picture as any. Tonight, I did my family thing. Trimmed Johnnie's hair, listened to his latest information download on Pokemon. Put him to bed with a kiss on his forehead. And I went to bed grateful for it all. DID I NOT HEAL MYSELF TODAY?