Monday Gloomies

It is Monday and kind of dark cloudy outside as if it is going to rain. Not much of a factor today really since I was planning on working working working, not to mention just getting my 15000 steps in. On that note, I did get 5000 steps before 9 AM putting me right on track. And I did get some nice meditation in. I focused on the upcoming week, tempted that there are all kinds of to-do's on my plate that could possibly change my mood to the negative. That is what meditation is for and a good reminder to simply focus on having a nice, eezy-peezy kind of feel for the week regardless of whatever I have to do and the circumstances that may trigger me otherwise. I reminded myself that EVERYTHING IS ME. And these triggers are merely things that I need to change my focus on, or transmute the energy of and I also remind myself from my golf Sundays that I have work to do in that area. Still, I did manage to get the MUST-DOs out of the way by lunchtime <that would be the timecard approvals, the HRSA survey and the COVID vaccine inventories> and then managed to enjoy my home-made tuna sandwich and tomato bisque soup for lunch.  I also managed to distract myself by watching multiple videos on the Lakers recent resurgence, noting that I am now looking for tickets to the game so me, Dexter, and Yadira can get together before Christmas.  I did have lots of other stuff I wanted to get done today, but somehow I was ok not getting to them. It was like the sense of urgency I felt at the end of last week was no longer there. Instead what did start coming up was likely responses from some inner work I did over the weekend. As in thinking of the 5 most important things that have happened in my life so far and the common values that were associated with them. As in thinking of stuff I need to heal to allow even more abundance in my life. Funny how all that stuff that happened in the late 80s and early 1990s seemed to bubble to the surface, losing my condo, my BMW accident, the resulting bankruptcy, all the seemingly not-so-pleasant things financially that were the result of questionnable decisions and resources I needed at the time, emotionally and mentally. It was clear I already wanted to be more of an entrepreneur and create income sources outside of my job. As early as 1990. A-HA I just couldn't break free from the tie to 'needing to have a job'. And that is the belief I need to focus on changing right now. 

I want to do my own stuff, at my own pace, on my own time. And not to have to answer to anyone but myself. I wanted it then, I still want that today. I want to be that guy on the picture to the right, just working and enjoying my tea and my breakfast/lunch, but not having to check in with someone I work for.  Today it was ok, I still need to create steady alternative income sources to match or exceed my current expense levels and then I can retire. And I simply wanted to come up with a plan and scale up. Stuff has come up in front of me but I've been slow to act. I need to work on that too.  Before I knew it, it was already dark out. I had already done 13000 stes, well on the way to 15000 and I was already at 140 active minutes. And it was time to pick up Johnnie at Lisa's. When I got there, Lisa had already packed him up. And of course she had to say something that would normally trigger me. This time it was that I couldn't sit more than 3 hours before I have to get away from her. Why would that trigger me if it was mostly true? Because I hate to admit it when someone else is right? Fortunately I did enough internal work today to merely let it go without attaching to much emotion to it. It's ok for her to be right. Anyway the conversation was about her trip to Italy to pick up her piano LOL. What do I care other than if Johnnie goes with her then I would have to deal with the emotional vacuum LOL. In the meantime, she's still sounds a little sick and Johnnie is still bouncing from floor to ceiling with energy. I wondered how she was able to deal with that energy all weekend LOL. And now it's my turn. But then again I have the magic of Netflix and Amazon Prime and whatever characters Johnnie wants to immerse himself with for the next couple of hours in my favor.  One thing is for sure, once he's in the house, then no more work stuff. NOt that I couldn't do it, I just didn't feel like it anymore. Besides, I had to walk the dog too. And so it was that this was actually more like a routine Monday. And that was just fine with me.