I Guess I Gotta Put Some Work In

It was supposed to be an easy week, at least based on my schedule. No meetings today even. Of course I'm starting to feel some pressure about getting my webinar material finalized for a week from today. Actually I'm not all THAT worried about it. It's not like I'm getting up in front of people to talk right? All I gotta worry about is not to pick my nose in the middle of the webinar LOL LOL. Then I remembered I had a pretty clear schedule yesterday and it turned into a TANK Day. I really don't want to do that 2 days in a row don't I? Or do I? Who says I need to push myself so hard? Well, I get reminders via email, or via TEAMS posts or via chats that's how. And so I managed to keep myself pretty busy all day long actually. Oh is Barbara asking for an opinion on the IS room at the FRB? Sure she is. Is Shilpa asking for help about another data project? Sure she is. I actually felt guilty doing the Data Team Meeting and it was clear she had all the assignments, at least the important ones while James I sort of gave the least possible amount of work. Yes, it has gotten to the point where he simply cannot be trusted and so I just make sure the work gets done. Even if I have to do it myself. No that is NOT being a good leader I know. But it's what I'm willing to put up with today. In the meantime, I cherish being able to drop Johnnie off at school and then watching he and Brooklyn and Bailey run off into school. To me that's what is important anyway. The rest is just stuff I have to get done. And I'll do it in order to support being able to stay home and continue doing what I do as is. Also yesterday I did my HEALING subliminals right? Today I did WEALTH subliminals. Took less than a half hour to do. I already had all the stuff I needed, I just put everything together on the Mac. I will say that it seemed easier to do it on the Mac. Yes I will admit this guy is a powerhouse and is everything I need. And so it was that I spent lunchtime watching MAYANS MC <still not sure why I'm so fixated on that series> and then got in a half hour nap listening to my subliminals. I also noticed that the day had turned blustery. The sun was out. And it was warm on my face as I walked the streets in the neighborhood. But the wind was high too and it brought with it a chill. And so when I wasn't in the sun, it was definitely cold. Cold enough to wear at least a hoodie. 

By 4:30 PM I packed up Johnnie's computer and headed to Mar Vista to pick him up. He had Spanish class of course and despite Lisa waffling about us coming to the office like we had done the last few Wednesdays, she told us to come anyway. She was waffling because it was apparently Dr Patel's last day of work at the office. I wonder why that was such a big deal, other than of course she would be busy. But is there a day that she isn't? I also realize that she is going to the CDA tomorrow and is staying the night. This means I get Johnnie an extra night <woo-hoo for me!> and so I understood that Lisa would WANT to see Johnnie tonight since the next time she would see him is Friday night. When we got to her office, I set Johnnie up in the lunch room, thinking Lisa and Dr P would still be in her office. And as it were, Johnnie had a perfectly good lesson. It was all about parts of the body today. I already kind of knew eyes, ears, etc. I too learned stuff I didn't know. neriz is nose. hombres is shoulders. Hey I'm learning as much Spanish as Johnnie is. Cool isn't it? When he got done we waited for Lisa to finish with her patients so we could go to dinner. THAT was the plan after all. What we experienced next was LISA BEING LISA and why it is so excruciatingly difficult to spend time with her. I still keep forgetting that she doesn't think the way most people do and she is completely reactive and very linear. Johnnie and I went to the bathroom to get ready to leave and we came back, she's eating a bagel and cream cheese. Weren't we supposed to be going to dinner? I understand that she's hungry of course. But we're hungry too. She mentioned not having had lunch but... Now it reverts back to her agenda versus mine. It always goes that direction, And our agendas are rarely in the same direction. She wanted to compose herself after a long day. And she was bugging about what to do to get to the CDA tomorrow. She was pre-occupied. All I wanted was to get something to eat. Wouldn't it have been simpler for Johnnie and I to just go about our usual routine? I reminded her of that when she said my energy was such that she wanted me to just go on. Hey this was all about her. WE WERE HERE so that she could see Johnnie. Otherwise, why would I want to be here at all? I hoped she realized that when I simply shut down and kept quiet. Yes I felt like screaming and raging and venting. But I didn't. I kept it in and realized that I must find a way to release it all later. We did walk to dinner at Daikokuya. And despite her continuing to be so pre-occupied, we managed to sit down together and finish a meal in peace. And when we walked back and Johnnie and I got in the car and she headed back to her office, I will admit it was ONE GIGANTIC SIGH OF RELIEF that I heaved. Done with that shit I heard myself think. We can be ourselves again. Soon as we came home, Johnnie got some ice cream and turned Pokemon on. Soon as I got back I did Healy stuff to get myself back to balance. Yep, we're ourselves again. No small feat today. And we're clear through tomorrow! Yay! OH and I actually stayed up and finished my webinar presentation for good. I'm all good.