Golf Sunday on Mother's Day

And so it was that I headed off to Harbor Golf Course at 8 AM this morning armed with my Hero's Journey juice/shake from Robek's. It did not escape me that there was this huge long line for the Bagel shop next door, which was not usual. It occurred to me though that today IS Mother's Day and that would likely be the reason for the line. I made a mental note to reach out to my mom later, still fully aware that I blew off her lunch yesterday in favor of hanging out with Dexter. You can always make it up if you feel bad about it. She doesn't need to know I blew the lunch off. Anyway when I got to the golf course, it was drizzly surprise surprise. It wasn't rain, but there was definitely enough moisture so I brought my hoodie. I remember the last time we played here, it ended up being just Scott and I. Today we had 3 other golfers joining us. And they were no slouches. Scott and I hit our first tee shots pretty well I thought. Scott hit his more than 150. I hit mine nearly 200. Both made the fairway. Those 3 other guys each hit it farther than that. And 2 of them got to the green in 2. Of course I would whiff. And so from that point on, I knew I had to bear down and buckle up and FOCUS. I do NOT want to embarrass myself. I felt the same way about Scott and so I focused a little bit on encouraging him on every shot. And something strange happened. We BOTH started to play better! I mean after the first hole, I had a bogey on the long 2nd hole, the very same hole I usually hit a 7 or 8 sometimes. And on the next hole I almost hit a par. All in all I hit great tee shots on all holes EXCEPT notably on the short goofy 6th hole where I topped it. And I still got it on in 2 and almost hit a par. I hit 5 bogeys in total today. No pars, but definitely had my chances for them. I will say it was a very satisfying game for me. I would venture to say Scott felt the same way. He had to didn't he? I mean he was hitting his tee shots with distance pretty much as well. And HE had a par. All in all a pretty good morning at the golf course.

After lunch, during the time I would usually knock off for a nap, instead I headed out to Marina del Rey AMC. I wanted to watch a movie. Why? To do something different is all. I watched Dr. Strange and the Multiverse of Madness.  Man I must have missed where Wanda turned into the evil Scarlet Witch. Bending the Universe to feel being a mother is strangely apropos on Mother's Day right? But then didn't I do the same to experience being a dad? I changed everything. And it was all worth it. Even the experiences with Lisa. After all, without her how could I experience being a dad? A price I was and still am willing to pay. Anyway it was a pretty good movie as Marvel flicks go. It was great to watch a movie without a mask I'll tell you. And the crowd even cheered when the Marvel theme came on in the beginning. And of course I had to stay for the extended Easter egg at the end didn't I? More future Marvel movies. Now Dr. Strange has a third eye AND Charlize Theron joins the MCU. Exciting. 

I wanted to explore certain feelings and mindsets today, from yesterday's spontaneous beach afternoon. Why was I not acting like I enjoyed myself. Why did I not enjoy myself? Johnnie had a blast. So did Lisa for the most part. It brought back memories of many a vacation where she would want to do her thing and I would not want to go along. She would want to just go off and escape and I for many different reasons pulled back. In Maui I remember I simply wanted to go to breakfast. In Greece, I simply wanted to chill at the restaurant with Henry and the others. I think yesterday afternoon was more of a reminder of those times, not necessarily because I did not want to enjoy myself. It was a TRIGGER. I hope I did not behave like too much of a killjoy. In the end it all worked out ok I think. Yesterday, as it was in those past interactions, there was a component of a fight for CONTROL. As in I did not wish to give up CONTROL. And that is something I need to continue to work on in general anyway.

I cut my hair tonight. I was looking scraggly. I think what disturbed me a bit was looking in the mirror I saw an aging man. I was focused on my neck and noticed my skin had gotten way wrinkled and loose. Gotta work on that one too. I wonder if there is a morphic field on that?