No Johnnie No Claire No Problem

It felt like a Monday today, this being the first day back from the long 4th of July weekend of course. I didn't feel any urgency to get up earlier than usual today. I had already done timesheets last Friday and I had already done my HRSA survey yesterday. So there was no urgency at all. And especially today since it is a RARE Tuesday that I don't have Johnnie and I don't have Claire. Both were supposed to be in Ontario visiting with FeiFei and her kids which of course got cancelled because she contracted COVID. I didn't know what Lisa's plans were for the rest of the week and I wasn't going to call her to ask. I just sent Johnnie a protective emotional 'shield' mentally because from my interactions with her over the weekend, it was pretty clear she was way off balance. And she was taking out her anger on me. She didn't appear to get angry at Johnnie though and I remember even when Johnnie knocked out her light bulbs in the backyard the other day (I'm still laughing at that one), she just controlled herself and walked away and didn't yell at him at all. Now why she isn't able to do that with me I don't know. I would find out later that mom and son are in Santa Barbara hanging out. That's good. At least she got herself away. She definitely needed the time to get her head right. And I do still miss the times when I would take Johnnie up there myself to hang out by the beach, usually around Labor Day when summer was just about over. I found out only because I texted Lisa to ask if Johnnie was doing Spanish class tomorrow. They forgot his computer so no Spanish class for him. Which was perfectly fine.  So with that out of the way I focused on a Tuesday to myself for once! 

What does that even mean? I reminded myself that a year ago, Johnnie and mom went to Hawaii for 3 weeks. And left me with the dog even. And I remember that first week was difficult because Claire had diarrhea from some new food I gave her to eat and she was pooping all over my apartment. Serves me right. Actually, I made myself a nice breakfast (mushroom scramble), and then for lunch made myself some shiratake bone broth with shrimp and cabbage. Mmm. Healthy! In between, I focused on the Body Primer morphic audios from Sapien medicine. And then the Become the Healer audio. The goal was to get myself more energy sensitive. Attuned may be a better word. And I got to focus on that this morning. That and getting my slides together for the Town Hall tomorrow. AND getting my Quarterly Report done. Which I later found out wasn't even due until Friday. Hey what do you know, I'm actually ahead. Not that I couldn't do all this if Johnnie weren't around really. All that is different is that hour interval in the morning when I first get up that I have to focus on getting him ready for camp or school or whatever it was the activity forr his day was. And then I don't actually have to think about him until later in the afternoon. Today I did think about him for a bit and wished he was having fun. Back in the days when we would all go to Santa Barbara together, we would go biking, we would go to Alice Keck park, we would find udon for him to eat LOL. AND we would go to the beach. At least he gets to do all that again and hopefully he won't think about missing out on seeing his brothers. Still without him around to deal with in the afternoon, I actually got to do some ME stuff. First I found this HIIT 20-minute routine on YouTube that raised my heart rate to 120+ almost immediately. Got my active minutes up to 30 in a hurry. Funny, last year I found those walk for an hour videos, now it's back to HIIT. I had lost too much weight I thought and I needed to maybe add a little more fat to my diet, even as I have lowered my blood pressure to normal levels, and my resting heart rate to near 60 athlete level again. I definitely want to keep that. I just don't want my body burning muscle instead of fat. And since there isn't all that much fat left, I am starting to sense that's why I'm looking a lot skinnier and harder to keep on muscle mass. And so for tonight's dinner, right after the HIIT workout, I headed out to Chipotle. Got myself a burrito bowl with very little rice, which I didn't eat anyway. But I loaded up on guacamole, on lettuce, on fajitas, black beans AND steak. Yep, steak. Wolfed that down and noticed I was actually feeling a heck of a lot more full and satisfied. Which was a good thing because I finished off my steps after dinner. Which turned into a nice walk around my neighborhood. It was a cool summer evening, which actually felt more like spring rather than summer. The wind was blowing the leaves around and the sound of the leaves actually gave me a sort of meditative vibe. I got to 9500 steps and stopped because it was barely 7 PM and I was aready at 80+ active minutes. So relaxed was I when I got back that I actually forgot to pick up from there and get all the way to 11,000. Which meant I finished less than 10,000 steps on a weekday in a long time. That's ok. I'll call it my 'rest day' though doing HIIT and still finishing near 10,000 steps doesn't actually constitute rest in my mind. And the big difference whenever Johnnie isn't around? I don't knock off to sleep at 9-9:30 PM. More like 10:30 - 11 actually. AND hearing him breathe semi-snoringly in the next room actually lulls me to sleep as well. Good night uNiverse and God I could almost hear him say before going to sleep. Good night my Little Bug. Sweet dreams.