Heal Day, But Still Negative Emotions

So I'm going to lean towards overexertion in terms of yesterday's bleeding episode, and so what I have to do is rest and heal. Maybe think about a break on the steps routine. After all I did more than 15,000 AND over 150 active minutes yesterday already. It's a Tuesday so taking it easy shouldn't be too hard. Except for my sneakily obsessive tendencies LOL. After all, why did I find myself doing shadow-boxing in the bathroom for a half hour just to get my step count up today? I guess I'm not going to let that go today aren't I? What I did spend my time on this morning was trying to find a medical intuitive in So Cal. I mean there was a whole slew of them all over the country. And I did find one for a $75 consult. But I had to wait until Aug. 11 for the online meeting. I wanted to see if I could find something for this week. Just get an opinion on my energetic body. After all, if I'm going all in on that, then I'm going all in. In the meantime, what I need to focus on are healthy thoughts, healing thoughts, thoughts of harmony. After all, as above so below. As within, so without. I would find out later on thet THAT would be an issue. And that there are other things reflecting a vibration of disharmony. First we had a Town Hall check-in for next week after lunch. It was supposed to simply confirm the agenda we already had set last week. If so, it would have gone 20 minutes tops. Not today. Because the Directors, including myself met yesterday, really in solidarity and support of Nyree who was understandably upset at the reorganization, all kinds of questions came up. Including how to address it at the Town Hall next week. And really more about how to address the organization in general. We felt like one piece of communication was not sufficient. And when we started talking about the agenda as if it was business as usual, I had to speak up and make sure talking about the reorganization had a spot in the agenda. AND in the beginning at that. Then the meeting was not about the Town Hall anymore and it did get contentious. The C's - Dr Liao and Marina ended up apologizing that they dropped the ball on communicating with the Directors (us), Director of HR Araksi got really defensive, though I didn't understand why because it was not about her and she seemed to have taken it personally. We did agree that it was going to get addressed at the beginning of the Town Hall and that the Directors would meet with the C's after one of the Town Halls and that was that. Or so I thought...

Now I'm wondering if that Director's Meeting yesterday had anything to do with the bleed episode? I acknowledge it had negative emotions associated and I had expressed negative emotions too. Maybe I had repressed them myself and they were seeking more expression? Could THAT be why I had the bleed episode? THAT and in addition to physical overextension? After all, I did also spend the morning sensitizing myself to energies as well. Anyway, there was no bleeding today so I think I am back to heal mode. I'm thinking I am underestimating stuff at work affects me as well. AND as a reminder I get a call from Eloisa at 5 PM right as I was about to head out with Johnnie to pick up dinner at Panda Express. She had heard about the Town Hall Meeting and basically wanted to address the Directors individually and talk about what happened. And about the reorg. There was a plan to talk to the Directors she said, it just didn't get executed. And then she defended the C's. We could have handled it in such a way that it did not turn confrontational, which I admit it sort of did. In other words, we should apologize too. I'm thinking to myself... apologize for what? We didn't do anything wrong. We just wanted to be heard. They fucked up. She even acknowledged that. What I am sorry about was that it happened at the venue it did, instead of us addressing them directly. It was unfortunate that it was the first setting available. But it happened. I did apologize via chat to Marina and I was thinking to myself now we're in damage control mode and I hope does not escalate any further. Yep, now it is easy to see negative energies swirling and taking a bit of control. And now I am sure more than ever it is those negative energies I need to address. I did that by focusing on Johnnie. The kid had water day at the Venice pool today and I think we finally got it right with the towel and the plastic storage for wet stuff LOL. I'm thinking I want to be in his world simply having fun and in his own words inventing new games at the bottom of the pool. So glad am I that he can do that now! Anyway after all that negative stuff, I wanted a routine Tuesday. But those negative energies weren't done. In the evening, I get a call from Lisa asking for "advice". Apparently she was spooked because an employee that was giving her problems and wanted to fire, starting talking about a hostile environment. And now she felt she was legally exposed. I didn't disagree. I told her she needed to watch her back and make sure she did everything by the HR book. And at least talk to her one more time to see if she really does want to work there still. At least to cover herself. She seemed to feel better. This time I wasn't focus on our conversation. I was seeing how all these external negative situations and circumstances are surfacing and that it was me making them do that. Now can I tie those to the bleeding episode? Is this one big FLUSH exercise? Or a test to see if I would give in to the negative energies. In any case, there was no more bleeding today. AND I still did 11,000+ steps and actually 66 active minutes. Though I did feel a little drained at the end of the day. I focus on healing. Internally and Externally. That I need to continue to do.