Golf + Visit Dexter

So today's golf tee time was at Penmar where I hadn't played in months. I remember or course that this is where it all started, with Scott, and then Chris and Mandy, Ellen, Roe, Lisa, and then Greg. Now it's just Scott and I and I'm actually used to it such that I'm not saddened anymore that it is just he and I. I am feeling fortunate that we have actually carried on from the last time we had more than 2 of us regulars a year ago now almost to the day. If we're still playing golf on Sundays, then LIFE is GOOD is how Scott and I put it.  Today the schedule is to go visit Dexter who had just gotten home from his operation a couple of days ago right after golf. And it did sadden me to tell Scott of his plight. But I'll find out more later. First the golf. This is Penmar after all and Scott and I already stated we accept no less than 2 pars at any course we play, but ESPECIALLY Penmar. This is not a hard course. So why is it that I don't score well here? Case in point, I did manage to score a par on the first hole on a streak there last fall. We SHOULD always get a par on this first hole. And after 2 shots, I'm right on the fringe and Scott is 50 yards out in front of the hole on the fairway. It felt like last week when Scott would hit a par and I would hit a bogey. But our 3rd shots were equally bad. And those misses would lead to a bogey for Scott and a 6 for me. Because I missed my bogey putt. Let's cut to the chase... I did not do better than that the rest of the game. Neither Scott or I hit any pars. None! The best we did was that he hit 4 bogeys and I hit 3. What happened to relaxing, getting in rhythm, and letting the Universe align my shot? Turned out the program of playing shitty golf was still playing. And until I manage to deprogram it, delete it and overwrite it with the positive program, I am going to continue to play this way. I did hit a few good shots. But they were really FEW and far between. AND although I made all my practice putts even on the course at Hole 4, while waiting for the 4some behind us to tee off, I never did make a single putt the entire game. Close. But not close enough. Sigh. Oh well at least we got done by 11:15. And I'm home by 11:30. At least I can get to Dexter's by 12:30 like I told him last week. Except...

There's still the matter of going there with Lisa and Johnnie. In Lisa's state last night as I left I was 99.9% certain we weren't going to have a positive interaction today. Which would mean I would go to Dexter's, IF AT ALL, on a negative vibe. I decided I was not having that. I decided to let Lisa be with whatever energy she was at. Why did I need her to affect mine? I decided to go to Dexter's by myself. I'm going to see MY FRIEND and who gives a shit where Lisa's emotional state is at. This ain't about her. I got there at 1 PM and Dexter was out on the porch just chilling. Really I was just glad to see him. And I felt better already just having a conversation with him. Not long after I arrived, the whole caravan of family showed up. More than a dozen people, all family, some local, but mainly the 2 cousins from the Philippines who we visited when Lisa and I went there in 2010. Has it been a dozen years? They visited in 2018 too, but I know where I was in 2018. I probably just moved from the Maplewood house. The only thing that made me wish Lisa was here was that everyone was asking about Johnnie. Sigh. It was 2 PM when she finally did call. It was Johnnie asking when he was getting picked up. Of course she was surprised I was already there. But I framed it that I was helping Dexter since he was trying to do too much like she knows he is prone to do and that there were more than a dozen people here and they were asking for Johnnie. And so she said she'd hop in the shower and come. Whatever it was she was thinking or feeling, I think I broke her pattern. Because she eventually did come. It was 3:30 PM when she did but she did come. And she actually engaged with everyone. As did I. I had come commonality with some of the local relatives. I was in healthcare like some of them. I worked at USC like some of them. And so eventually it ended up being a very nice typical Filipino family visit. And I felt very much at home in the middle of it all, and very much welcomed. And of course out the window went my dietary guidelines just for today. So I ate a lot of meat, ate spaghetti, and lots of lumpia. And even after the relatives left, Lisa, Johnnie and I stuck around until 8 PM. Longest social visit I had done in a while. I noted that on the drive home I felt very much peaceful and relaxed. I guess coming here by myself turned out to be an excellent idea. And as for Lisa? I must have really interrupted her pattern because she was back to her social self after most of the guests left. I think simply being in that mode rocked her out of that negative shit she was engulfed in yesterday.  And she was much better today. And Johnnie and I got to spend some time together too. On a Sunday. How cool was that. Turned out to be a pretty full weekend. And a pretty nice one to boot. Except for the golf. Gotta work on that...