At Least Scott Played Well

Another Sunday, another tee time at Harbor, this time at 8:30 AM. I got us the early time because it sort of fell on my lap a week ago LOL. I was encouraged that there hadn't been any bleeding pretty much all day yesterday and through the night and so it would appear that I am healing ok. Still, I wrapped my member in a paper towel just in case. I made myself an egg salad and avocado sandwich, brought one of those coconut water drinks and off I went. The first thing I noticed was how humid it was. As in, it was cloudy, yet warm. Midwest warm not Hawaii warm at 8 AM. But hey, it is the middle of summer isn't it? And so on to the game. I looked at my golf game now as a lab experiment in which I am learning to harness subtle energies and manifestation practices to create the outcome I want, which is to play well. One thing I did realize right off the bat was how devoid of detail that statement was. Later, I would drill that down into 'I want to have at least 2 pars today".  Or at least that's the mantra Scott and I tell each other wherever we play. And so on the first hole when I whacked my first tee shot over 200 yards but a little too much to the left, I was still encouraged. And particularly after my 2nd shot went on the fridge. It was a great opportunity for a par right off the bat to start things off right. Scott, too, hit his 2nd shot 50 ft right in front of the fringe. And after 3 shots, we were both on the green with par putts, me having the closer 8 foot shot. Which is why I am so frustrated that I missed my par putt and Scott made his longer par putt! Woulda shoulda. Still, it was a very good start for the both of us. Missing the putt put me in an unresourceful state however and I can sense old programs already coming up. Old unproductive patterns. And to say I had a blowup hole on Hole 2 was an understatement. It is RIGHT THEN RIGHT THERE where I should have done some emotional and mental cleanup. Actually, I should have done it right after my miss on Hole 1.  Should have played out Hole 2 in my mind. Instead, disaster. Lesson to be learned. I didn't clear my head for Hole 3 either. Although I hit a beautiful 2nd shot that got me 150 yards from the Hole on the par 5. I was on in 4. Missed the long putt and missed the follow-up too. Still no mental clearing. Leading to being in the bunker after 2 shots on Hole 4 and way past the hole after 4 shots. <sigh>. Am I ever going to settle down? Seems to be a KEY I keep missing. I need to learn to settle down on the fly and do my mental and emotional resets. On the long Hole 5, it took me 5 shots to get on and then again missed my putt. On the weird Hole 6, I shanked way right but recovered with a nice chip to get to a 10 foot par putt. Which I missed. Bogey #2. Hole 7 I was on in 4, missed another long bogey putt. Finally on Hole 8, we all got our tee shots on the green. We all had birdie putts. Scott made his and I was so jealous. Because of course I missed my par putt again. Bogey #3. And then I simply melted down on the last hole. On Hole 7, I felt seepage in my underwear, which indicated I was bleeding again. That was confirmed when I stopped to pee on Hole 8. But I noticed red and then clear. I was also feeling a bit dehydrated at this point. It could be the walking around a lot in the heat was exacerbating something. I did manage to make it home without further incident so I wasn't thinking of anything other than lunch. I even made a stop at Ralphs Marina del Rey so I could pick up some keto stuff. That's how early we got done (11:15) and even with the stop I was easily home before noon. 

For lunch I decided to stop at El Pollo Loco. Picked me up an old favorite: double tostada chicken salad, except that I had the rice left out. Still nice protein and salad and avocado and pico de Gallo salsa. This should be a fine low carb alternative.  I thought about the golf game and how stuck I was in my old patterns and how I didn't really do anything to adjust mentally. Oh well, at least Scott, with a par and a birdie, had a pretty good golf game for himself. I should have just gone on to a nice nap in the afternoon like I usually would. Especially since I didn't really have good sleep last night. Instead I listened to some more energetic audios. And though I haven't really proven it just yet, simply listening to a subliminal resulted <perhaps> in another bleeding episode. It wasn't explosive blood like it was last week, but it was still blood. And it was still at the beginning of the urination, which suggests rupture in the penile shaft or urethra had not yet healed. I'm beyond worrying about it at this point as I HAVE CERTAINTLY my body will heal. I put on some nice alpha waves to relax and then found myself heading out to Target in the middle of the afternoon heat at 3 PM. I needed to get some underwear having noticed that I went through 3 last week that I bloodied. Also was able to pick up some pea protein stuff that only Target carried. And then while I was out anyway, finished up my shopping that I didn't do yesterday. Even while running around in the heat, I didn't really have any bleeding although it did happen again later on in the evening, when I noticed I was sitting in my office chair trying to do my HRSA survey early. Yes, for the rest of the evening I simply shut it down as normal and made myself dinner <my unstuffed cabbage with the ground beef I bought last week - hey, I figured a little meat isn't going to hurt right?>. I did really note that I missed that dish and maybe should try it with protein crumbles LOL. I listened to prostate morphic fields again from Sapien. That's after noticing another bleeding and once and for all telling myself I need to heal, heal, and HEAL. At least I  already finished approving time cards and finished my HRSA survey. That would give me the bulk of the day free tomorrow, at least through the morning. That's pretty good right? Did I have a good weekend? Still dealing with the physical stuff and the toilet clog, though that got cleared up Saturday night. Distractions. Distractions.