Caught Up In Illusion

Is that picture I posted that of a rabbit? Or a Duck? Which did I see first? Knowing it was an optical illusion, I looked for both. And I found both. But I'm not sure what I would have seen first had I not known it was an optical illusions. I think the answer would be what I was focused on at the time I saw the picture. You get what you focus on. So why am I writing about this? It is an attempt to remind myself that lately I have been caught up in illusion again. Which is why I have noticed that I have been extremely impatient the last couple of days. And in not working to release whatever it was that was really bothering me, I attracted more of the same circumstances that bring up impatience as the response. Including today. What usually goes by quickly in terms of getting through 9 holes of golf was replaced instead by a wait at each and every hole. Of course the reason is always a golfer group or two that were playing slow, which is the reason this time. But why now and why today? It can't be a coincidence. And on the way home, I watch myself grow even more impatient as I ran into traffic on the freeway heading home. The truth is that we got done with the golf game in 2 1/2 hours which is not abnormally long at all. Just different than usual where we would have been done in less than that by at least a half hour. And the ride home from the freeway? I had stopped at Del Taco for some fish tacos on the way home so really there was no rush and I simply could have focused on enjoying the ride like I did last week, cutting through mid-town and enjoying seeing LACMA again which I hadn't done in quite a while. I did not feel NEARLY as impatient then didn't I? I reminded myself of a few maxims:

We do not see things as they are, but as we are ourselves. 
Everything is YOU pushed out.

There is a program automatic or otherwise that is in play.

So what was the problem? Did it really start with the meeting with the guy who I got impatient with last Friday? Or was it a culmination of stuff I hadn't cleared through the week or maybe even longer than that? Maybe perhaps waiting for Lisa on Wednesday night I had repressed something to the degree that finally it is coming out now? And perhaps it is that part of me that wants and needs to CONTROL and WANTS TO BE RIGHT and has lost that control somehow and is fighting to take it back. Either way it was clear that I had NOT done the work to release all the repressed crap and so my EGO is playing everything back. Oh man...

So here is the new focus:

Thank everyone including the EGO for the lessons I am getting now.

The Universe was just testing me. I AM up to the test.

I ALWAYS have plenty of time and I get my stuff done on time. ALWAYS.

No need to react. Just turn it over to my genius Self.

Everything comes out in my favor. I merely need to hand over "problems" to the Universe.

I need to release the negative energy and let go.

I think and focus on the most positive outcome and leave it at that.

I provide MASSIVE value. I am acknowledged for that.