Doing the Work

The theme for today was DO THE WORK. And by that I meant for a lot of things. Wednesdays used to be my busy day at work. But this week has been consistently busy anyway. Steady busy like a stream of tennis balls coming at you from an automatic ball shoot. Stuff coming and coming. But a good tennis player just hits them all just as steadily. On the job front, my morning had 3 meetings booked, including that High-Impact Leadership check-in first thing. That is now how I usually start Wednesdays. How much longer do we have to go with this thing?? Still, it does force me to do my reading and be engaged with the other managers at work, even though my session is clearly the less attended one. Gives me more time to share eh? LOL. I had the Data Team Meeting right after that and then an OCHIN reporting meeting after that. But James once again called in sick and since Shilpa is on vacation, no meeting. I thought about handing the growing number of help tickets to James, but I simply have no trust in the guy anymore. Clearly something to think about as related to those HIMP calls. As for the OCHIN meeting? I looked at the powerpoint slide and decided to bail. Instead, I decided to walk to Mar Vista Park and work on the chin-up/pull-up bar. It did distress me that I couldn't do 10 chin-ups anymore. I remember doing those with relative ease at the Lindbrook apartment. I could not have regressed that badly couldn't I? Of course I can. Which brings me to the here and now and working to get my strength back. I did manage to do 10 decent pulls, though it did take me 3 reps to get there. To make me feel better, I threw in free squats too. At least I can say I worked out twice this week already and now I know I have to ramp that up even more. Still I did feel a little better, and definitely far better equipped mentally to deal with a job-related fire drill for the day. That would be the laptops for the PAC, which I had banned the purchase of until they did a speed test from home. I was very adamant about it to my staff. And perhaps maybe too much so. I decided to back down a bit. My brain says at a higher level, why do we even have to have a PAC? Why not outsource the whole damn operation. But THAT is not my operation to run. All I gotta do is equip them to the best of my team's ability. And I reminded myself of our main thing. To help others in the use of technology. A quick meeting with Sheng and Larry and problem solved. And I could breathe out for the rest of the day. 

Breathing out means watching the latest episode of Kenobi on Disney+. And I did manage some centering exercises on the couch, mostly videos on Youth and Age Reversal. Goes to show where my focus is on these days. I also thought that I needed centering this afternoon because I will end up seeing Lisa again for the Wednesday night routine. That started off really nicely at first. But the last couple of weeks without the Spanish class, we mostly ended up waiting for Lisa to do her thing and having dinner far later than we expected. Yes that's Lisa being Lisa but I also know she must be going through something yet again, considering that yelling thing last Monday. It was ok to get away from that, but now being far more sensitive to energy, including negative ones, I knew I had to do some self-protection stuff. I did run some errands in the afternoon, did a trip to Sprouts, got Johnnie his lei for tomorrow's beach attire for school. And then I picked up Johnnie early for Spanish class. I made sure to do some energetic protection stuff for myself AND reminded myself that Lisa's negativity is simply a part of a morphogenetic field that I did not need to feed. It was simply something to observe and not to react to. No fighting it either. Just go with the flow. Easier said than done. But now I know it is my own EGO I need to tamp down. And that is not always so easy. We got our Spanish class done uneventfully enough. But even approaching Lisa I could sense some heavy negativity STILL. I amped up my own energetic protection but I did forget to extend it to Johnnie. And so Lisa had to sit down and further explain the screaming thing last Monday. I had let it go already but clearly she hadn't. I let it go simply because I was not going to give that negative energy any more power. Clearly Lisa is still keeping that energy alive. And it was yet again all about her dad doing something bad to her mom. This time she related that he left her at the airport simply because he did not want to wait for her while they were dropping off Sacko. My only thought was that I was sad that we didn't get to spend any more time with him other than the Monday when he first got here and we got to watch Lisa score a goal in her match. But that's ok. I hope to see him again in Paris. Still Lisa seemed very much aggravated by it, as if she was suffering from PTSD. It helped explain the yelling thing, but tonight you could see how the negative energy started feeding itself. She had to move on from ANGER to stuff at the office <FEAR> until finally we were able to move to actually going to dinner. By this time it was 7 PM. But at least I did not let the negative energy get to me. Even through dinner at Pitfire Pizza. I was FULLY AWARE that I symbolized a trigger for Lisa. And nothing I could do or say would prevent that. And so all I needed to focus on was to simply go with the flow. Want mushroom pizza? Ok. You're disturbed why no one is busing tables? Ok. So am I. In fact, how about I clean ours myself? Doing all the we did make it through dinner relatively unscathed, Johnnie and I. And then we left Lisa to her energies and went on home and resumed normal programming. THAT was the win today: I WAS ABLE TO PROTECT MYSELF ENERGETICALLY AND I DID NOT GET SUCKED IN TO ANY NEGATIVITY. Not even eating a non-KETO mushroom pizza moved my needle. YES! TEST PASSED. I AM learning!