Feeling Tension

This being a Thursday, you would think it would be an eezy peezy kind of day the way I'm used to for the majority of Thursdays. But (a) I'm staying at Lisa's and working here as well (b) She is here all morning having the day off and interaction was inevitable. Not that THAT is bad but I still do have traces of PTSD everytime she blows up. I keep telling her that Johnnie himself still remembers that she pushed him on her way to yelling her ass off at me last Christmas Eve... whether she was on steroids or not was beside the point. He's going to remember that and I hope she gets THAT point. I hope she sees she is simply being her dad. Not a good thing. Anyway she came with us dropping Johnnie off at school this morning and although we made some kind of small talk, I could feel tension already and I didn't really know why. This being her day off she should be her leisurely self. But maybe I am creating that kind of tension within her as well. We did have a semblance of a pretty good conversation in this morning. We talked about watching what she says with Johnnie, with me telling her he talked a couple of times about her finding a man. Not that THAT by itself was objectionable, of course she should find herself a man. But Johnnie was clearly confused, or could have been confused about my role when he mentioned it. And so I assured him that I was his dad and I will always be. No matter who his mommy ends up with. And then Lisa did piano practice and I worked on UDS and OSHPD. I finished Faith Lee's reports, doing so creatively. But I could not get James to call me back, which frustrated me to no end. So much so, I lined up Shilpa to take his place just in case. I mean it's UDS week and he is not answering his phone? RIDICULOUS! I told my boss to be prepared to input the data stuff himself. oR with Shilpa's help. And so there was TENSION there too. Here is where I am clearly missing my meditation sessions and to get myself to focus on the outcomes that I want. That would be for James to finish all his inputs by tomorrow. That would be peace and harmony between Lisa and I. That would be Johnnie and I having some nice dinner tonight. By the end of the day I still hadn't heard from James so I set up a meeting first thing tomorrow. I did get some good news from my building which was that I could move back in tomorrow at end of day. AWESOME! In the afternoon I decided to take a peek in my apartment. And pick up a package - which was Johnnie's replacement jacket for the one he lost. And pick up stuff from my apartment that could augment food in Lisa's fridge. Like they're out of butter, which Johnnie loves so much on his sourdough bread in the mornings. So I picked that up. I picked up eggs and OJ from my fridge as well. Need to get a whole new week's worth of food anyway. And I picked up sushi for Lisa's dinner. I wonder if she will remember to thank me for that. Probably not. And that's ok. She headed out for her first piano lesson with Vatche since last year and so she didn't get back until almost 8 PM. In the meantime, Johnnie had udon, I had beef over rice and then we worked on Lisa's valentines handmade project from Johnnie. For which we were rewarded with "I feel like this whole place is dirty" when she walked into the kitchen. Yeah. That's because there are people here. LOL LOL. But hey it's Thursday night and I made like she picked Johnnie up early and I went back to the guest room early myself. I should have done meditation right then. I still had a lot of work stuff on my mind...