Uh-oh

So I woke up in the middle of the night to pee and I didn't turn the light on but I noticed flecks of brown stuff on the floor near the toilet. Or at least I thought it was brown stuff. I immediately thought Claire had pooped near the toilet. Damn it!! Then I peed and immediately noticed it wasn't clear pee that was coming out. It was blood. I mean I was peeing blood. When I turned on the light it turned out the flecks on the floor was blood too. I must have peed blood earlier in the evening before going to bed when I was already about to knock off to sleep. Uh-oh. I had pee'd in my uring 4 months ago. But not this much. Those were tiny little droplets. This was a lot of blood in comparison. If I was alarmed then, you can imagine my state now. It was 3 AM in the morning too. What could I do? Should I rush myself to the emergency room? I mean I was not in pain, I was not in discomfort. But the sight of blood coming out of your penis is very DEFINITELY alarming.  I decided I would do my best to go back to sleep and see what happens in the morning. True enough, there was still blood when I woke up for real. I decided to take a shower, but then it stopped. No more blood. But I wasn't convinced remembering the seepage that happened when I was driving home from Roosevelt 4 months ago. I put some TP down my shorts to at least act like some kind of tampon <now I know how women feel> and tried to go about my day as best as I could. I mean I was driving to the FRB this morning to do the 9 AM HIMP meeting from there AND to test the videoconferencing system more. And of course I was going to drop off Johnnie first. I worked on releasing the FEAR and ANXIETY more so than anything else, just so I could function knowing full well I needed to be in a resourceful state in order to do what I can about this myself. I immediately thought morphic fields. But then again I also remembered I did a FasterEFT session last night before going to bed about releasing all the thoughtforms, energies, patterns that are causing the enlarged prostate condition I have. And I actually did feel some kind of energy shift. I don't know how to describe it but I felt like something happened. But i was NOT expecting this. If THIS is what released energy looks like, then it IS scary. And if THAT is indeed the case, is it enough to simply leave it alone for my body to let itself heal? 

I wish I had some guidance with this. I wanted to talk to somebody. I went through the meeting this morning at the FRB as planned, but I did feel my energy was low. And I am relating that to 2 weeks ago when I had low energy too. But I thought THAT was due to low blood sugar LOL. The best case scenario would be that the bleeding stops like it did 4 months ago, well before I had to see the doctor. Unfortunately, still the same issue by lunchtime. But this time I noticed I was peeing blood clots first and then clear urine. As in the bleeding was probably happening right in the tube of the penis  or the urethra or something.  And so it wasn't really anything internal but definitely some kind of cut or wound no different than a lesion on any other soft tissue on my body. Now THAT is much more acceptable. The blood coming out is still alarming. But at least if I knew it was because of something that heals pretty easily, I am very much ok with that. After all, I still feel fine. The BEST case scenario is that it's my prostate actually purging and healing and in a week or so, it would be smaller than it is now and no more night urinations. By the time it was time to pick up Johnnie, I had spent much of the afternoon on the couch. I was actually looking for energy healers to talk too. Maybe an EFT practitioner? The last thing I wanted to do was go to the doctor. But I may have to if this continues. At least I picked up Johnnie and I didn't feel worse. We were supposed to go to Lisa's office to do his Spanish class there and you know what that means. I have to expose myself to more negative energy. But maybe my own wouldn't look so bad in comparison. True enough there was a lot going on, none of them good. Apparently, Lisa had had a pretty bad day. From dealing with pushy vendors to dealing with patients screaming at her, to a very incompetent staffer simply adding to the workload due to the incompetence. I felt bad for her. I could see her almost wanting to cry. I hugged her mentally. It was the best I could do. And by this time, the bleeding had stopped. Isn't it funny that when I have to pee in a public place, no blood?! Despite my issues, and despite Lisa's issues, which I have to admit I am actually not in a place to help her with, we managed to have a pretty nice dinner out with Johnnie. It was as if nothing was wrong with me and everything was ok at her office.  It was definitely the best part of today. And at Maria's Italian Kitchen no less. I threw out all dietary restrictions on my end. I decided to enjoy a nice chicken marsala with spaghetti. Lisa had minestrone and broccoli and Johnnie had a plateful of spaghetti. After putting away a couple of pieces of pizza at Lisa's office. We had a pretty normal evening and I was happy about that. Even happier that the bleeding seems to have stopped. Or maybe for the evening? We will have to wait and see. But for now, everything seems to be under control...

Uh-OH... Something to be concerned with??

So I went home from dropping Johnnie off and I had to pee. Something was odd. I didn't turn on the lights so I wasn't sure. But when I did what I saw was blood on the toilet seat? WTF? Did that come out of my penis? Was I bleeding? There seemed to be a foreign object in the bottom of toilet too. Did I just ejected something that caused a little bleeding? I wasn't concerned at first because the urine that followed was clear. So I was thinking maybe it was like a scab or something? I didn't give it any more thought until it was time to go to bed and I peed again. And again, there was the same blood that led the urine flow. Clear urine after that though again. Naturally I was concerned. And immediately when I googled blood in urine, what comes up? The very worst possibility: bladder cancer. I laugh now while I'm writing this because I didn't immediately see that that was the least probable cause. Then why did it come up first dammit?

Now I'm anxious and I was tossing and turning all night long. Of course I had to get up and pee and once again there was blood. Not a lot really. And again only when the first second of pee came out. Clear after that.  Now it is not an anomaly. There is a condition going on.  I immediately put some frequency tunes, if only so I could go back to sleep.  Should I play golf tomorrow?