The NACHC Conference

It's Halloween tonight, but I all but missed it. Tonight while Johnnie was trick or treating, I was on a flight home from Las Vegas. That's because I was a speaker at the NACHC FOM/IT conference for the 2nd year in a row. This year though I was sort of blase about it. Even waited until Friday to finalize my presentation. It was simply an update of the 2-part webinar I did way back in May so I was very confident with the content. The only trick was logistics with my co-speaker Nick. And we hadn't actually done it in any kind of detail. It seems like he's just like me an hour. Really all I needed was someone to fill in the gaps should they come up when I talk. And make sure the talk lasts as long as it should. Anyway all that was later on in the day. First I had to get to Las Vegas, which meant getting up at 6 AM and getting to Lisa's house at 7 AM to catch an Uber. My plan was to take an Uber back on the return flight and pick up Johnnie right then. It should be before 9 PM. Just in time for his bedtime. And Lisa wouldn't have to do a thing different. <Of course she could have offered to give me a ride to the airport and/or pick me up... but she didn't so there's that>. I got to LAX in plenty of time, got through TSA quick enough and had lots of time to have breakfast, in this case, a breakfast sandwich from Urth Cafe. Yep, Urth Cafe had a presence at LAX. The flight itself was a 40 minute flight and we barely had enough time to ascend and descend and I was in Las Vegas by 10:30 and a $35 taxicab ride later, I was at Caesar's Palance at Speaker Check-In for my conference. Plenty of time to get myself prepared, mentally or otherwise. I was hoping to do another run-through with my co-speaker Nick at lunchtime but he wasn't planning on getting to the room until 2 PM so that's that. I just gotta walk around and hopefully burn off nervous energy. It would have been a perfect opportunity to get some steps in. After all, it was Monday and although I did a fair share of walking at the airport, I was lagging far behind the usual pace. And I had actually resigned myself to simply doing as regular a walking day as I could. I was thinking I'd make it up the rest of the week. I emded up having lunch at the food court. There was a 45-minute wait at the Noodle House I ate at last time I was here. I didn't even know there was a food court. I went to the shortest line, which was the Halal Bros and had a chicken and beef plate. It was enough to tide over the hunger until way later on. I knew I'd be running on adrenaline before I knew it. And that's what happened. The talk wasn't until 3 PM, but Nick did show up for lunch and he and I sort of ran through the presentation and did some timing stuff right there at the food court. It's amazing that I could walk through the casino and not cough out a lung that pervasive smell of smoke seemingly everywhere. Still I managed to keep myself as calm and relaxed as I could. And then before I knew it, it was game time.

I turn into a different person, I think, when I'm doing on of these talks - especially live. Like I turn into an entertainer almost. The "ham" part of me comes out. And really I could have talked about the material without a presentation for at least an hour. Answer questions for another half hour if needed. Anyway I thought the talk was successful and then I turned my thoughts on getting home. Since I left later than I did last year, there was a line everywhere. There was a line waiting for a cab from Caesar's to the airport. A line for TSA of course. A line to get food even though it was just Burger King. I passed up on much better options even though I really did have plenty of time. And so by the time I got done with my chicken sandwich, the adrenaline I was running on during my talk started to wear down. How did I know I was on adrenaline? My heart rate was up. So much so that I must have been over 105 bpm for at least an hour afterwards. It allowed me to catch up on my active minutes count. As in I was already up to 125 by the time I boarded the plane. I would actually finish at 160 AND still managed 15,000 steps. That's because I did almost 2000 of those just getting to the cab AGAIN when I landed at LAX. Needless to say by the time I got to Lisa's I was tired, cranky and it was already 9:05. Lisa was reading Johnnie a book. She seemed oblivious to the fact that I wanted to go home and I was only there to pick up Johnnie and Claire. It was Johnnie that finally "turned her off", stopped listening to her book reading and started goofing with me. THAT finally caught Lisa's attention and shortly thereafter, we were on our way home. It was a long day. And I was tired. But it was a good day. A second really good day in a row.

My ABSOLUTE BEST Golf Game In YEARS

What just happened? I'm sitting at lunch at Sidewalk Grill on Vermont reflecting on the golf game I just had. That's because I just shot bogey golf... for the entire 9 holes at Roosevelt. I had 2 pars on Hole 4 and Hole 6. 2 6's on Hole 2 and Hole 8. The rest were bogeys. And 2 of those should have been pars because I missed relatively easy putts on Hole 1 and Hole 5. Simply, it was the best golf I had played in a long LONG time. How did I do it? For one, except on Hole 8 all my tee shots were nicely hit, long and straight. And even that whiff on Hole 8, I followed up with a fairway 3-wood that went 200 yards and got me within 70 yards of the hole after 2 shots anyway. The difference on that hole was focus. I let the sand trap bug me and I whiffed on that 3rd shot, costing me another bogey or better.  On Hole 2 I hit the tree on the 3rd shot which would have gotten me on the green already and cost me the bogey there. But on most of the other holes, I had very nice fairway iron shots. THAT was the difference. It overcame my putting which was just ok. I made them when I was close. But I wan't missing by a lot and I was putting myself in a position to close out. So the combination of good tee shots and good fairway irons pretty much on most of the holes got me good scores. Even on the last hole where I had 2 errant shots, one of the tee that landed right and then the pitching wedge shot that went way past the hole, I recovered with a chip shot that got me close enough to the hole  and allowed me to close out with a bogey. And so I shot a 42 today. Wow. I could hear Greg now expressing his utter disbelief. Heck, I could hardly believe it myself. What did I do in the mental game? Not much from this morning I could tell you that. I had been visualizing every now and again all week about hitting my irons well from the fairway. And it came to pass. I just told myself that I was going to relax today and be in the moment so I could let the shot I want come to me. And more often than not that was what happened. I could feel myself losing some of that focus starting on Hole 8 but it was ok. I was already in such a rhythm that I was able to finish the game on that high note. Even Scott couldn't believe it. WHAT A GAME TODAY! 

I took a nap as soon as I got home and started to put myself in game time mode for tomorrow's conference. It already started today but I don't have to talk until tomorrow. I hadn't thought about it all week long frankly. But then again, I didn't really have to I didn't think. I am simply confident enough that all would go very well. I just needed the nap because I was binge watching Season 9 of the Blacklist last night and didn't get to sleep until almost 1 AM. Which makes my great game this morning even more puzzling really. Get enough sleep? Nope... in fact, I felt that need for the nap the entire morning. Good meditation? Focus on the golf? Nope and nope. I simply was more relaxed this morning which helped me to dial in better I think. The good program simply outweighted the bad programs today. And so now I can work on replicating that next week LOL. It turned out to be a beautiful, warm last Sunday in October. So beautiful that I had to remind myself that I actually needed to get ready for an early ride to LAX tomorrow morning and I needed to get to where I needed to go from LAX to Vegas. Usually I'd be kiciking around with fall sports but since I cut the cord, I had no access to regular TV, so no Rams football, no access to Spectrum Sports Net so no Lakers. Which may or may not be so bad considering the Rams aren't playing well and the Lakers? don't get me started. They have gotten off to their worst start in years and they are the worst shooting team in the NBA. But there's still the internet. I mean after all, I get too nervous and don't even watch these things live anyway. When did I start being so neurotic? Yeah, like forever? All the way back to the 80s! Back then I called it superstitious LOL LOL. Anyway, this afternoon the Rams lost to the 49ers. Again. But the Lakers somehow won their very first game of the NBA season! I watched none of it of course but then again after this morning's golf game, I was pretty blasé about either team. Besides, UCLA football won last night.  So I had a pretty quiet rest-of-Sunday-last-weekend in October kind of day. And now we usher in Halloween, November, and the holiday season. Can't wait. 

The Big Boo

Johnnie had so much fun today. I was so tired it felt like that day in Disneyland. We were, of course, at the Big Boo at Mar Vista Elementary. Pictures tell all the story. What a day. And we even got Lisa to leave work before 2 PM and she showed up. Miracles CAN happen LOL. It was a very very VERY good day.

Last Friday In October

It's already the last Friday in October. We're heading into Halloween weekend and then the holiday season. Has the year really flown by already? We're still in that transition phase where it has started to get colder early in the morning, but it still warms up in the middle of the day. That is, until Daylight Savings Time in a week or so. Still, this being a Friday and with nothing on my calendar, I focused on internal work. With a renewed focus on prostate issues <from getting my insurance turned down> although I keep reminding myself my PSA is actually going down, I purchased some supplements this morning.  And then did some energetic work. I cautioned myself to focus on health instead of whatever I thought was out of whack, and I reminded myself that somehow whatever I experience in my reality was that which I had put some energy in. Case in point, I got out to Lisa's house to pick up Claire. And I decided to take a shower there, because I had done so in the past. I took a shower in Johnnie's bathroom. I don't know why really, usually I would use the downstairs bathroom. And I ended up having a nice shower. Until the fire alarm got triggered in Lisa's bedroom because of the steam coming from my hot shower. And then the alarm system got triggered because of this. I rushed naked and wet downstairs to try to turn it off. Fortunately, she hadn't changed the code from when I still lived her. And so I was able to turn the alarm off before the Fire Department came. But if ever I thought I was going to sneak a shower in boy, perhaps there was some guilt that I was trying to do it in stealth. And now I HAD to text Lisa that I was at her house and that I had triggered the alarm. Sigh. Oh well. At least I got a nice shower in. And I focused on other gratitude-type things. I finally did finish my presentation for Monday once and for all. And got it in in the nick of time first thing this morning. AND we did get paid today didn't we... Included was a nice $200 from the State, some relief disbursement due to inflation. Hey, I'll take it. My account is now over $51,000. I know I have to pay rent and that will get lowered in the next couple of days. It's still over $51K already. And I am hugely grateful for that. For lunch I stayed on the healthy track, baking up a piece of barramundi... but then eating the Trader Joe's orange chicken that I had stashed for a few months in the freezer. Time to start clearing what was there considering I had so much food in there. Besides, it was fairly healthy still. That and some yellow lentil soup and I was good to go.

For a Friday afternoon I found myself wandering into Culver City. First at Sprouts because I wanted to get pumpkin seeds. Yep, I was somehow stuck on getting some natural stuff to shrink my prostate with and I had been reading that pumpkin seeds, pumpkin seed oil, zinc, saw palmetto all were as good a combination as any to do that. Which is why I headed to sprouts. Not only did I get pumpkin seeds but I also got the supplement I was looking at in Amazon. Somehow I'm doing all this but my instincts tell me this is much easier done energetically. Still, I am in learning mode right? Gotta learn by doing. I also found myself at Target to get Johnnie's Lunchables for next week which was a good thing because I remembered to get gift cards for next week too. It IS Town Hall Roadshow week after all, even if I'm going to miss the first day at East Third. By the time I got back home it was already almost 3 PM. Still early, but I also knew I had to pick up Johnnie early because he had a makeup Spanish class today at 4:30. And then we agreed I'd get him to Lisa's office so mom and son can sit down and have dinner together and he can hang over there until she decides she's done for the day. By doing that, I'm hoping Johnnie becomes the influence that lets her learn to simply let go of the day no matter what time it is and that it is ultimately more important to simply be present with him no matter what they are doing. THAT is the lesson I have learned. Johnnie just simply wants to be with us and he is extremely keen on the scheduling routine too. As he himself told his mom on Wednesday... DAD only gets me for 3 days during the week so it is only fair we don't deviate from that schedule. I paraphrase of course, and really I get more than that but who's counting? Tonight I did pick him up early and I made him dinner and packed it up. I got just about an hour with him, but it was a good hour and enough to strengthen bonds and routines. And enough for me to play his dad for that hour. I made him spaghetti and heated up Trader Joe's pizza. And I dropped him off at Lisa's before it was even 6 PM. Doing that forced Lisa to stop and eat something and sit down with Johnnie, even if she still felt like talking about her office stuff. New doctor this, staff member that. I felt the need to tell her not to make a problem where there isn't any. I reminder her that she IS the owner and whatever she decides stands no matter what anyone thinks. And with that I headed on home. It was ok because Lisa is working tomorrow. And of course tomorrow is the much anticipated Big Boo at Mar Vista that Johnnie is going to. That would be the 4th straight weekend in October that he has something big going on either that Saturday or Sunday. His birthday, then Disneyland, then Brooklyn's birthday, then the Big Boo. And finally bye bye October. What a month already!

Back to Eezy

I was totally immersed in my persona as a Mar Vista Elementary School dad this morning. Not just because I dropped Johnnie off to his class line like I always do. The school was abuzz with activity in preparation for the Big Boo Halloween festivities this coming weekend. Even Johnnie wanted to volunteer to help with the many prep activities going on. For me I purchased tickets for Johnnie for Saturday for the rides and games and stuff. And then picked up an I HEART MAR Vista yard sign. Now where am I going to put up a yard sign? Answer? My backyard patio, attached to a broom. See the pic with Johnnie standing next to it. Yep, that's me Mar Vista dad. So anyway, it's a Thursday and I had a bunch of meetings today like I always do most Thursday mornings anymore. Still, even with all the meetings, the morning felt effortless. And even my one-on-one meeting with my boss Dennis, got done inside of 10 minutes. And so when I got done with all those meetings, I turned my attention to lunch. I didn't just make a quick lunch today. I made shrimp with chickpea masala over rice. And I had lots of shrimp too. It made for a really big and filling lunch! I ate so much that I swear if I didn't have such good sleep last night (almost 8 FULL hours!) I would have tanked off right after very easily. Instead I did have one more meeting to do, which was a software demo that I knew I wouldn't be able to push quickly and so immediately I had to set expectations. I'm looking. Very much interested, but I have to convince my Management to look first and then we can talk seriously. Already I'm in the middle of 3 going on 4 implementations and I am concerned that I am stretched a wee bit too thin. And let's not forget I still have to finalize my talk for Monday's conference. I haven't done that mentally yet. I don't think I need to make changes, but just to be sure, I wanted to go over the presentation once over for the last time until the weekend. 

Still, the day felt easy. Even my steps felt easy. As in I was already at 60 active minutes at 6500 steps by the early afternoon. As I said, even the continuing pings from work were things I easily rolled off my shoulders. Before I knew it it was already time to pick up Johnnie. Meaning it was 4 PM. I had been picking him up earlier than usual simply because he kept commenting about how bored he sometimes gets in STAR. I thought it was because the kids he usually plays with all get picked up early too and so I followed suit. Besides, he had Spanish class today and today his teacher had a pretty good session. He was to draw monsters (monstros). After all, it IS Halloween time right? But he was given directions in Spanish with colors and parts of the body and numbers of said parts of the body. It was very cool to listen to them simply because Johnnie understood all the instructions. Every word. All in Spanish! HEY, it has sunk in! And he got to do one of his favorite activities which is to draw. In the meantime, while he did his class, I made him his favorite chicken breast tenders and rice dish. I don't quite get it looking like Lisa's but I thought it was good enough. As for me, I had salmon in the freezer that I cooked up. And so it was that I cooked a lot today. And when you do that the only thing I didn't enjoy so much was all the dishes you have to wash afterwards. Fortunately, not like Lisa who has to use all these pots and pans and measuring stuff. But Johnnie enjoyed his dinner. And surprise of all surprises, we actually got a call from Lisa at 6 PM that she was ready to pick up Johnnie and Claire! HOW SURPRISING WAS THAT?! And she was in a good mood too. HOW RARE is that?! And so it was that I got some ME TIME much MUCH earlier than usual today. I ended up watching TALES OF THE JEDI. And watched TOP GUN MAVERICK again. Don't know why really. It was just queued up because Johnnie was watching TROLLS WORLD TOUR. And so it was an eezy-peezy day. With just a Friday left with nothing on my schedule. Fantastic.

A Mid-Week Test

If I was going to be tested this week, today would be the day. I was supposed to be at the FRB like I am usually now on Wednesdays. And so I actually wanted to get there before 9 AM because there was a meeting at 9 AM and then a Director's Meeting at 10 AM. I figured I'd get dressed before dropping Johnnie off and then take off to DTLA from there. It was weird being dressed while standing there with Johnnie while he was getting in line. Usually I'm in my shorts and Tshirt. Not that anyone isn't dressed for work, just not me. So that was my early morning oddity. I did get to work before 9 AM and actually had myself a mint green tea and got myself fully set up in prep for the meeting. It was about a new benefit called ClassPass and in the end it took all of 20 minutes. And then after that, the Director's Meeting did take an hour but it was more like a conversation with my fellow directors. Anne wasn't there who was supposed to show us some P&L data and Starlette wasn't there who would be taking about Project Charters and stuff like that. I have to keep from rolling my eyes when listening to her. I used to be that guy who would push for a more formal project management framework. But it has never worked. We simply do not have the discipline, and we lack the energy to maintain such discipline. So there's that. But I'm not going to be the one to dull someone's energy. Already she gets on my nerves going right to me instead of the Data Team when asking for a report. Her latest one ended up on James' lap and we even did talk about it at the Data Team meeting today. James, as he always does, says its ready. She then said later on she was still waiting for it. And so I had to prod and push James into getting it done ahead of his timeline. In the end, he did get it done and submitted, I looked good because it looked like I tried to help and that was the end of that. The good thing about today at the FRB was that I got a really good workout in. All of 20 minutes to do 100+ reps for my upper body and arms. And then I went to Chipotle for lunch afterwards. No useless conversation with the Finance folks. I needed some alone time, enjoying the warmth outside and the view from my seat (see pic) while having my garlic steak over rice.

As it was I had to stay until almost 2 PM today because of a cybersecurity incident at Ochin I needed to watch the briefing on. Anyway, none of the above would qualify as a mid-week test. That would come later on when we went to Lisa's office for the Spanish class. First of all, there was no Spanish class today because I had misinterpreted Hayil's email message wanting to move the class to friday. She meant today's class, not tomorrow's class. Oh well. We still got to Lisa's by 5 PM and when we got there, there was Jorge working on Lisa's computers. Apparently her email system was out of whack, because she had to convert to Microsoft 365, a level higher than the Microsoft Business Basic Plan I had her on for many many years. Jorge managed to fix it by buying licenses. And now he was hungry and asked to be included for dinner. That made me relieved because it meant at least that Lisa WOULD be going to dinner, and at a reasonable hour. That definition of reasonable hour was at Lisa's discretion though and today, it meant 6:30 PM. Yes, we still had to wait. I still had to do whatever I could mentally to keep myself from getting irritated, reminding myself that it's ok to feel anger and let it through and get it processed rather than holding it in. I can't believe they couldn't see Johnnie running around trying to expel his own energy. We ended up going to Maria's. And Johnnie ended up having lasagna and I had spaghetti and meatballs. Needless to say, I carbo'd out tonight. But the lesson wasn't really about dealing with Lisa today, though Lisa being Lisa was lesson enough. The lesson was a joke we played on Johnnie. We told the waiter he needed to wash dishes to pay the bill. And that he could work overnight if need be and we would pick him up in the morning. He took it seriously. Boy did he ever. As in he started to cry and took a minute to get him to stop and realize it was just a joke. NOW we felt bad. I didn't realize that THAT was still a bit of a flash point for Johnnie and that fear of abandonment was that REAL. Why would he think we would ever abandon him? When I asked him later, he brought on the latest example of being left at school with Ms Cardona just this past Monday last week when Lisa and I crossed our communication with when to pick him up. Damn. I had to spend the rest of the night reassuring him that NEVER would I leave him alone like that.  I would always come for him. No matter what.  I hope it sunk in. And then I asked for forgiveness. HIS forgiveness. I hope we didn't just plant an errant program in his subconscious. I will simply have to reinforce that "We will always be there for you" program then. Wow.

Keeping up the Chill Vibe

It's almost Halloween, I have a trip and in-person webinar coming up, the Town Hall next week, but here, now, today, my focus was keeping up yesterday's eezy-peezy vibe. Even with Johnnie in the house, and most definitely bouncing around and looking exactly like his old self, dad and son still managed to get a nice long sleep last night and for dad, augmented it with some more good meditation this morning. And when I dropped Johnnie off at school, the first thing I saw was that Brooklyn came bounding up to us with something on her neck. A-ha. She opened Johnnie's present after all. So cute those two. Funny though that Johnnie seems indifferent to the attention. He didn't feel like running around and tussling with the other kids this morning and was just content to sit back and watch. Hmmm... I wonder if he has some of his dad's INFJ in him? In other words, independent. Or later on... loner tendency? Hmmm... Something to watch. All that aside, it was still good to see him engaging with the other kids again which is really all I want him to do. Have fun by himself, have fun with others. He makes up these games and his ally James goes along with them and that is really great. I went home and realized that I had cleared my calendar this morning. This afternoon I had a couple of meetings, but this morning I could do more of the same anchoring stuff I did yesterday. And true enough, listening to all the alpha waves stuff, and ego stuff and healing stuff and I found myself almost drooping off to sleep right on my couch. Not that THAT was bad. In fact what I did this morning was get on my computer then every half hour or so, get up and do some resistance exercises. I did a total of 150+ free squats today. And 50 pushups. And 2 reps of 15 on the ab roller. Ok Ok, not impressive numbers. But at least I did SOMETHING. What I've noticed in my recent pictures was that I was looking skinny in the shoulders area. And so that was what the pushups were all about. So yes I was very much focused on the physical this morning and it felt good. At least until I got the results of last week's blood and urine test. On the one hand, not too bad. Cholesterol was elevated <higher than normal> but that I know I can easily handle with a week's worth of intermittent fasting or keto. The ONLY number that raised a concern was the PSA score which came in at 6.1 and I believe was the reason why my insurance request was DENIED. Hah! Way back in 2016 I think it was denied because of high triglycerides. I was almost diagnosed with fatty liver disease. Now many years later, no high triglycerides. No disease. It only goes to show any of these numbers can be CHANGED. In fact, that 6.1 reading was already almost a full point lower than the last reading in April which came in at 6.9. In another month it will be in the 5's again. And then back to the 4's? Oh well. no insurance for me and that's ok. 

I shrugged off as much thoughts of dis-ease and prostate stuff as I could for the afternoon. Only tried to focus on health and optimal functioning of my body. And do steps, WHILE doing image cycling too. Very interesting when I try to do it. I think it has started to help me focus on my energy flow. I knew Johnnie had asked to get picked up right after basketball so he wouldn't be so bored in STAR for an hour while waiting for me. I was happy to oblige. By then I had had my TEAM Meeting too in the afternoon. I think I like it better holding it then and including Kennedy. I'm hoping Sheng learns by example the lesson I'm trying to teach today which was to get in front of your customer. In this case, a particularly annoying doctor who insists on a different laptop. What I was trying to teach was that he was not going to like whatever he was brought simply because the messenger (Sheng) did not connect with him in a way that satisfied whatever he felt he needed. Sheng is so much on autopilot that I am trying to get him to unlearn that. Slow going if I do say so. But maybe it is simply that he is not a fit for MY own personality. That is a lesson I need to learn or unlearn. Even Kennedy who was a match for my personality had to go through growing pains. Anyway the afternoon still went pretty quietly and by the time I picked up Johnnie I had noted that today already felt very much like yesterday. Eezy peezy effortless and I was in such a space that whatever was pinging me from work wasn't bothering me much if at all. As in, everything is going to turn out the way I set it out to anyway. I picked up Johnnie early liked he requested, then went home and did a little work while we waited for 5 PM to pick up dinner at Panda Express. 2 Bowls: Johnnie's usual and mushroom chicken for me, which I added more chicken breast when we got home. All good. And then afterwards, Johnnie and I spent some time in the spa. That would be the 2nd consecutive day I'm spending time in the jacuzzi. And it felt just as good and relaxing as yesterday. If yesterday was Calm Monday, then today was Just As Calm Tuesday. Now can we go for 3 days in a row?

A Calm Monday

It turned out to be such a calm Monday today that I was more than just a bit surprised. Calm not in the sense that nothing went on. Calm in a sense that everything happened with ease, which is just about all I can ask for. An eezy peezy morning where I got everything done. Heck, by lunchtime I was already at 8000 steps and 100 active minutes! A nice tuna salad sandwich and that real tomato bisque soup from Bristol Farms. Not the canned stuff mind you... fresh. It was AMAZING. AND I had a nice hour-long nap. I did wake up pretty early this morning and went right into meditation at about 5 AM. If I was tired, I made up for it with my nap. Even people pinging me from work were simply teeny tiny minor annoyances that I didn't even give a second thought to. Not today. That was the difference. And then at the end of the afternoon, after I had already gotten the bulk of my steps done (meaning more than 11,000 steps) I did a hot tub soak. Ahhh. Even in the spa I had almost a meditative experience just enjoying the breeze in my face, doing yoga for prostate under the water AND just allowing subtle energies to work their magic on me. And work their magic they did. I felt really nice and relaxed. And I took a nice shower afterwards too. Even more relaxed. But then I finally had to think about returning to a different reality.  I had to pick up Johnnie from Lisa's and even though that seemed routine, there really isn't anything routine about Lisa, depending on what it is that is tugging at her. It's like I know something is coming but I don't know what. I reminded myself to be grateful for any interaction as it merely amplifies what needs my attention. Gives me clues about energies I need to release. And boy I was sure right on. When I pulled up, Lisa and Johnnie were just getting home apparently from taking the dog for a walk. And they were talking to neighbors also out for a walk. When Johnnie saw me he immediately took me inside excitedly. His pictures finally came in from the school picture day. He also told me how hungry he was. Old feelings immediately came bubbling to the surface. 'Why can't I have just a simple hand-off where I take Johnnie and immediately get out of there' NOPE, Lisa wants to take her time.  Why hasn't Johnnie eaten dinner yet? Because Lisa has other things on her mind. I NEED TO ACCEPT that I do things my way, and Lisa does things her way and that's perfectly ok. I have to acknowledge that she has no capability of thinking about how her choices affect other people in her orbit. Particularly Johnnie. Particularly ME.  This she got from her mom, the loosey-goosey way treating life moment by moment. It is already how she is so to expect her to comport more to my way of thinking is not realistic. I wouldn't change to her way of thinking right? And so the trick is always to meet somewhere in the middle. Instead of pushing my agenda and asserting my control, it is simply her time with Johnnie and she can do what she wants even if affects me. She made chicken (I had already made rice the second I walked in) and we sat and ate together which is what she likes to do. I had already eaten a mushroom pineapple and spinach pizza at my house. 15000 steps by 6 PM made me really hungry. At least the interaction with Lisa had minimal effect on my peace and harmony and that is the best to hope for always. Johnnie and I went on home, right to his warm chocolate milk and videos. Almost got him to finish Room On the Broom. And we both went to bed early. As in before 10 PM. It was a nice, calm day. A good day for me.

Rejuvenating On A Monday

Wasn't it just a week ago I was half-asleep wandering to Lisa's because she had to drop Silvia to LAX at 5:30 in the morning and I had to watch Johnnie... and take him to school... and take Lisa to her medical appointment? Today I finally got to make up for the past couple of weeks of hecticity (is that a word?). I got into the usual Monday meditative space. But instead of just focusing on the week and how I visualized it to be eezy-peezy, I also got to focus on other things. Mainly about the root causes of my own FEAR and ANGER. It seemed like I was getting gently nudged into examining these negative emotions that still permeate my day-to-day.  Which is why I went back and sort of created a logo. Create AMAZING. That is what I want to be the cornerstone thought of my day-to-day. And because I was able to focus on that I think, I had one of those contemplative in-the-moment kind of days typical of some Fridays. Maybe it was because I had just done all the must-do stuff this morning yesterday already. That would be approving timecards, doing the HRSA Survey, vaccine stock, blah blah. It made for a clear morning. Of course I still had to do steps as per routine. But I found that to be effortless too. As in I was already at 65+ active minutes after just 5000 steps by 9 AM. Even the rest of the morning seemed to be spent on RELEASING. Ego Dissolution. Letting go of FEAR and ANGER trapped in my physical body. AND also focusing on the images I want. How it would feel knowing I have optimal health and having no worries about any disease. Not thinking about the stuff I had focused on in my urinary system practically most of this year to date. How it would feel if I had created financial flow such that I don't have to work for a job anymore. And this morning would be what it is like EVERY MORNING. That put a smile on my face. I DON'T HAVE TO BE AFRAID. I AM ENOUGH. and THE UNIVERSE ALWAYS HAS MY BACK. In the meantime, I THANK my SMALLER SELF or EGO or whatever it is that creates chaos in my life. IT GOT ME TO PAY ATTENTION. Even Lisa's dramatics is something PUSHED OUT and NEEDS ATTENTION. Maybe not Lisa even specifically. But my own attention. I know i will get tested. My work is to stay the course.

Finally Some ME TIME!

After a long couple of weeks where pretty much I was at the whim of Lisa and Silvia and whatever they had going on, and more often than not Lisa's ongoing emotional storms, a normal golf Sunday was very much welcome. No Lisa, no Silvia, not even any Johnnie. I love him to death AND I had pretty much had him for the past 13 days straight starting with his birthday party. Lisa can catch up with him all day today. In the meantime, I wanted to take another opportunity to see if I can yet again more into the mindset of a good golfer and actually play well today. Play well = hit 2 pars OR have at least 4 bogeys. I got us a tee time at Harbor at 9:40 AM today and got paired up with a guy who played like a scratch golfer, and 2 young guys who were typical hit-it-hard-from-the-tee but not much of a fairway game. Then again, didn't I just describe myself?? Today I was hitting the ball well on my first couple of shots, especially after I had warmed up after the 3rd hole. As in I would already be within 25 yards of the green after 2 shots mostly. Which meant I was hitting the ball ok from the fairway too. Case in point Hole 7 when I was already on the left fringe after 2 shots, Same as Hole 9. But in both cases I blew the chip and was way short on both. [I really gotta learn how to do a loft wedge from really short distances]. And then I left the subsequent putts way short too. I did manage to hit 3 bogeys, 1 less than Scott's 4. So all in all, we didn't play all that badly. I had a really bad Hole 2 [Gee what else is new] and I had an 8 on Hole 3. I missed par putts on 4, 8, and 9 though. I should have had a bogey on 6 and 7 too but I screwed up those putts as well. Oh well, at least it was a nice day for golf and as I said, it wasn't like I played all that badly. After the golf, I went to Bristol Farms Manhattan Beach for lunch. The traffic made me exit the freeway in the South Bay as it would taken another half hour just to make it to the my off ramp and I was getting hungry. I had a turkey sandwich and a mushroom soup. And then stopped at Sprouts in Sepulveda to finish my shopping. It was nearly 2 PM when I finally made it back home. And I wish I had plopped down to a nap. But I didn't. 

I did remember when I was trying to meditate this morning and trying to center on "walking into" the persona of a great golfer, trying to imagine all the great shots I was going to hit today, imagining how good I felt walking off the course because I played well.... Hmm, maybe all that not so much, but I did walk off the course fairly satisfied that I didn't play badly. Maybe THAT is the tweak I need to make. Not to be satisfied with hitting 3 bogeys today out of 9 LOL. If I hit 5 maybe I would have and I certainly had the opportunities to on 6 and 7. Yeah, 4 bogeys in a row and I would have felt pretty darn good. woulda. I also remembered doing a lot of meditation on EGO DISSOLUTION and working with my Smaller or Darker Self and making sure it does NOT take over or push me into situations I would rather avoid because it wants to permeate false programming I'm trying to negate. It thinks I'm trying to kill it. How can I? It's a part of me and I'm learning to embrace that too. I took a pic of my apartment pool on my way to picking up another shirt for Johnnie that I designed myself. Because it was such a nice afternoon. I had had a pretty good day to myself by that time actually and I would continue on by making myself a chicken and mushroom over rice dish, augmented by leftover mushroom soup I had for lunch from Bristol Farms. Was that a play-of-the-day? Nope... I would say that long drive from the fairway on 9 that went nearly 200 yards with my 3-wood qualified. Or the blast from the tee on Hole 4 that landed square in the fairway 80 yards from the hole. My best tee shot to that point. Or simply not having to think about what to do for Silvia, or Lisa or even Johnnie. I'd say I did my dad duties pretty well this past week. Maybe removing all the emotional stuff that took over when Johnnie was coughing in the morning. Yeah that throw-up stuff on Wednesday was not good. THAT was MY dark side and I need to keep working on that. Patience and LOVE is what I need to focus on because I keep getting tested on it. NO sooner than I realize this that I get tested with an email from Starlette from work regarding a report she needs. Yes she annoys me. Talks out of the side of her mouth half the time. But I have to work with her and I have to work on myself about dealing with her. If awareness is the first step, then I'm on the right path. BTW Season Finale of House of Dragon tonight was pretty good and I lulled myself to sleep watching Season 9 episodes of the Blacklist.  Things have started to quiet down again and returned to normal since Silvia returned to Paris. Can't believe it was already a week ago we were at Disneyland. Time is sure moving fast. Next up: Halloween weekend.

Brooklyn's Party

I should have realized things would be different today. Lisa had a CE class all day and so on her Saturday off, I end up with Johnnie anyway. Not only do I end up with him, today is also Brooklyn's birthday party and of course there was no way Johnnie was going to miss that. From the moment he woke up today Johnnie was already way different from the last 10 days. Maybe there really was something to the Johnnie that was whining about being sick a week ago, or before we went to Disneyland, or last Monday or even yesterday morning. That was all when Silvia, Gayane, and Cecille were here. I don't want to say Johnnie was acting out, but it was like a whole different Johnnie already today. To say he was back to his joking-all-the-time, happy, mischievous, bouncy self was an understatement. We both got cleaned up and then first went to Elysee, where that smile of his got him free cookies, then Whole Foods, and Trader Joe's, really to pick up groceries for Lisa, and then finally off we went to Brooklyn's. Her party started at 11 AM and we got there at 11:10. There were no less than 5 people from Johnnie's class: Penelope and her brother Oliver, Caleb, Frankie, later on James, and of course Brooklyn. I actually got to talk to all the parents and got to know Penelope and Oliver's parents better, and also James' parents. So I turned on my SOCIAL mode and ended up staying until 4:30. Yep, pretty much the entire afternoon. And then when we left, I treated Johnnie to Ginger's ice cream because I didn't feel like he ate enough. That's because he played practically the entire afternoon. Yep, not the listless Johnnie from a week ago for sure. I will let the pictures tell the story of the day. It was a good day. And after Johnnie's party, Disneyland last week, and all the activities with Silvia and Cecille, I was glad today marked the last activity for a week. Until I have to go to Vegas for FOM/IT. Halloween that day too I might add. Been quite the past few weeks to be sure...

https://photos.app.goo.gl/y3gNJSXncgFZMdxe9

Adieux

And here I am thinking I was going to have a nice quiet almost TANK FRIDAY. I had even gotten started with my meditation routine. Thoughts of "I am ENOUGH" and "the UNIVERSE always has my back" wafting through my consciousness. Little did I know I would get tested EARLY. As in in the middle of my meditation, and barely 7 AM. Lisa called me and told me Johnnie had thrown up and had diarrhea. Just like the Monday isn't it? She of course was trying to decide whether to hold him back from school.  Mind you I was still aware that he had been coughing all week. And that he had thrown up in the morning too. But that was because he was trying to cough so hard that food came out. I didn't think he was sick enough to get held back. I detected that Lisa was having a hard time with this. And so I headed over. Sigh. I walked through the door and here's Silvia, Cecille and Gayane on the couch watching Encanto and Johnnie coughing upstairs. Lisa hadn't gotten ready. How are they going to school at all and in Lisa's case, to work, if they're lollygagging about? At least Johnnie had showered last night. But I simply wan't buying that he was too sick to go to school. And when he asked to go to Lisa's office to hang out with there, that sealed it for me. He WAS going to school.  To make a long story short, I got him ready and was really the push that got Johnnie out the door, and Lisa too. We talked a bit about getting the Frenchies to the airport since they were leaving today with a 6 PM flight. They wanted to be at the airport at 3 PM. I could simply drive them but then Lisa promised Johnnie he would get picked up right after school at 2:30 PM and didn't have to go to Spanish class OR STAR. And of course I would have to pick him up. How I do that and do the airport drop-off was up to me. Lisa had thoughts about it too but she wanted Johnnie to get dropped off at her office. And had Silvia there at that time too. Sounded convoluted to me but I played along. First things first. Johnnie has to get to school. I didn't care what Lisa did. And so it was that despite all this DRAMA, Johnnie did get to school this morning, albeit 8 minutes late. And then I dropped Lisa off at work. And went on home to get back to my centering exercises. Get back under and out of the Lisa-induced drama and into my calm. And figure out the rest of the day. I did a meeting, had some leftover chicken and mushroom lunch and then went on over to Lisa's office to see what the Frenchies were doing. It occurred to mee that they would be waiting there for me for a good couple of hours. Why couldn't they have just gone to my pool and waited there I wondered? It IS Friday, I didn't really need to be anywhere and I had already responded to all texts and emails. So I saw them and let them know I had a different plan. Lisa wanted Carmen to take them to the airport? Why disrupt her practice? I told them we'd leave at 2:15, pick up Johnnie from school at 2:30 and head on to the airport from there. They would have PLENTY of time for their 6 PM flight. And so that's exactly what we did. Check out the pics of the gang and their luggage in the back of Lisa's truck while we were waiting for Johnnie to get let out of school! For the first time I picked up Johnnie at the gate and then despite some traffic around Lincoln in Marina del Rey by the 90 Fwy (hey it's FRiday ok?) I managed to drop them off at 3:20. They were still in great shape time-wise. And so with that, Silvia's 2022 vacation was concluded. And finally we can start getting back to some normalcy again. Tonight that meant dropping Johnnie off at Lisa's office right from LAX. I picked up Claire at my apartment, and then went to Lisa's office. And then... just one last drama for the day. Johnnie is now crying and upset because he wanted his Fuzzy. Sigh. Is he really doing this? Of course he is. And so I took Claire back to Lisa's house, picked up Fuzzy... AND picked up Panda Express dinner for Johnnie and Lisa. And THEN went back to Lisa's office. Johnnie wolfed down his teriyaki chicken and rice. I can't imagine he had much of a lunch. And then finally, finally finally I clocked out. Time for some ME TIME again. No need to get any more food, I just got Silvia's leftovers from Panda House. That's honey walnut shrimp and orange chicken we're talking about. And finally I can have a decently quiet Saturday night. And Lisa can finally have some alone time with Johnnie, which the latter had been wanting all along I think. I got some Netflix binging in with a couple of episodes from the latest (9th) season of the Blacklist. AND the first couple of episodes of the new Sci-fi Amazon video series Peripheral. And since it was Friday, I knocked off the timecards for my teams. And did data downloads too. No rest tomorrow either. It's Brooklyn's Birthday party. And that's ok. Johnnie had been looking forward to that one. We'll be good to go.

Johnnie's Odd Energy

I dropped Johnnie off at school this morning hopeful that his cough is just a little bit better with another passing of another day. Which really simply means I hope he doesn't have a repeat of that throwing up in his mask episode from yesterday. He did not do that to be sure. But he did not hang around his friends either. In fact, he purposely stayed away from there and he looked sad doing so. And I sat with him and felt his sadness too. I know he's trying to do the right thing. And I remind myself to back off from giving in to my ego and getting angry. Which I did a little bit of this morning. STILL. But at least I did not yell at him. I felt the anger. But I did much better at simply making sure he relaxes and breathes slower. That alone would help with the coughing I thought. As far as the rest of the morning, it's in the mid-80s out there this morning. Yes, it sure got warmer. Back to feeling like summer. I kept my meetings to a minimum this morning because it's the afternoon that seems to have gotten my schedule filled up. I have the CCALAC HIT Roundtable that I chair and then a run-through meeting with my co-presenter for FOM/IT in Vegas after that. I was tied up until 4 PM. And so I made sure I had a nice lunch. Went to Sprouts this morning, and got some nice chicken and mushroom and cooked it in my slow-cooker. The result? A really good chicken and mushroom over rice lunch! As far as the rest of the afternoon I did run the CCALAC Meeting, which was sparsely attended as always. Only 3 other Health Centers attended. Not enough to continue to have this meeting I don't think. Are my counterparts simply no longer interested? Does this group provide any more value? Do they actually value an interchange of our common issues anymore? I don't know really. Is it me? I know I was pretty hard on my co-chair Mendy. And he ended up quitting his job this week. Which meant he was no longer going to be co-chair. He was a pain in the ass, but he did respect my expertise. How do we draw more participants and get them to engage? I don't have an answer. But maybe I could think about it a little bit more...

After the run-through <which went by quickly... I expected that when someone knows what they're doing, which means by extension they know what I am talking about>. I focused on getting my steps in, but I had actually done a pretty good job of that in the morning simply running around going to Sprouts and what not. I was already up to 7000 steps and past 60 active minutes even before I picked up Johnnie. The plan was for Lisa to pick him up shortly after his Spanish class at 5:30. But you NEVER know with Lisa. Add Silvia into the equation and that doubles the uncertainty. I focused on what I had in front of me. I picked up Johnnie, and then let him have an early dinner. As in even before his Spanish class I gave him Trader Joe's pizza. This ensures he won't starve tonight regardless of what Lisa does and when she does it. He seemed to be in a little better mood when I picked him up but he was noticeably low in energy in his Spanish class. Usually, I'm telling him to chill and not be so loud and active. Today, I could barely hear him talk to his teacher over Zoom. She even thought they were having a bad connection. I kept asking him if something was bothering him. It simply wasn't him and I was thinking maybe it was ME. Or something I did or said. Or something not happening at school which he expected. Remember, he was really upset when he didn't get picked up at 2:30 on Monday when Lisa told him that was when he was being picked up. I had an idea that it was really all about Lisa's energy and that all that was getting projected on him, but I can't really say that out loud can I? I just made sure he was fed and when Lisa called at 6:30 I had him ready as per what we had discussed yesterday. When he got picked up I went back in and did some light meditating. I wanted some guidance on Johnnie and what, if anything, I needed to do or not do. I did not get a clear message. And really, it's in Lisa's court now until tomorrow afternoon when I pick him back up again. In the meantime, I look forward to a totally clear schedule tomorrow. Friday at last. 

What We Do To Our Kids

Today's theme is the title of this post "what we do to our kids" and I should add the word inadvertently to the end of that phrase. Johnnie is still coughing and spitting up phlegm every now and again. I know I showed him a breathing exercise last night but of course he is still not able to fully control his body. Heck not very many people do. I taught him that exercise hoping that he would learn to slow down and breathe and when he does, the coughing actually does stop. Of course more often than not he will give in to the urge to cough which is his body's attempt to get rid of the stuff inside. Combine that with other factors and then you have a disaster in the making. This morning, that was watching getting him to eat instead of watch videos (totally my fault) and when it was time to go and he was just halfway done with his plate, I practically made him wolf his food down. And so it should not have been a surprise that when we made it through the gate and towards his class line, he would cough so hard that he vomitted all over his mask. This after I pulled him to the side and practically yelled at him to stop coughing. yeah, that was effective alright. It only made his coughing worse. And I thought he was going to cry even. At the moment, my ego had simply taken over and gotten impatient and irritated. How does that make sense that I would get angry at Johnnie because he wouldn't stop coughing? In retrospect, I was the stupid one. I should have just held him and gotten him to slow down and breathe even slower. He was reaching for my hand the second he sensed I was angry. Instead I pushed him into coughing more which lead to him throwing up all over his mask. We were already in the school yard. What to do? I had him clean up in the kids bathroom and then we ran back to my car and I cleaned him up some more with the towels in the trunk. He had thrown up all over the front of his shirt but there was no time to go home and change now. He will just have to go to school as is. His teacher was just letting his class in when we got there and I just asked her to give him another mask. We talked about his persistent coughing and I thought Johnnie was going to cry. I did that. I am SO SORRY Johnnie. You're going to be ok. Hey, aren't I supposed to be the one that is learning how to heal with energy? Why have I not tried that harder? Isn't this a good learning opportunity about healing others? Instead I let ego take over. I went home feeling badly. I SHOULD. But I had no time to dwell on it. I had to go to the FRB today, first with a meeting about the new Alternative work week plan and then of course the meeting with Erica about Penelope. I put in a full day's work at the FRB, and stayed there for lunch (ate some pancit and pork Filipino style). On the drive home I thought about Johnnie and how I was going to make it up to him for acting so badly this morning. My opportunity would come later with Lisa. I picked him up early and we went to Lisa's office as per usual Wednesday. She was supposed to pick up Silvia and Cecille and Gayane at the airport but we had time to still do Spanish class at her office as usual and then go to dinner afterwards. Johnnie asked to go to Maria's and to my surprise, Lisa said it was ok. It was on our drive there that Lisa got a memory trigger about how her mom used the word LOSER with her. I am sure her mom did not intend that. But she used the word just the same and it stuck. Hence a week ago when Lisa was having another one of her meltdowns, she was yelling about how much of a LOSER she was, same way she would do when she's having a meltdown in front of me. She would use that word all the time. Now she is having an A-HA moment about where it came from. Ahh the things we do to our kids that we don't intend to just by using words. ANd for me this morning, using our actions. I told Johnnie later on that what I did was not right and that I was sorry. He acknowledged it. Hopefully it does NOT stick. Johnnie gets really emotional when either Lisa or I get in a bad, yelling mood. I should KNOW that. And I have to work on it and work on it and work on it. At least tonight he got dinner with his mom and dad and we ate at Maria's and we had a perfectly pleasant meal. If only Lisa didn't blow it by bugging me about making driving errors on the drive back to her car. She did manage to diffuse me because I think she realized that she hit a trigger on my part. Awareness is the key to everything. And the sincere desire to change for the better. We do inadvertent things with our kids, when instead, we simply need to make sure they know we love them more than anything. As I do Johnnie. As I'm sure Lisa does too. The work is reminding them of that too. Every time we can.

Somewhat Routine Is Good

With the French tourists out of town in Vegas, and with Johnnie back under my roof, I could finally start to feel normal again, if just for today. There was only one problem. Johnnie is still coughing really bad, to the point where he sounds really sick when he is forcing stuff to come out with the cough. Of course that would be my thing a year before the pandemic, when I would develop this cough after the holidays that would linger for a couple of months. I sure as shit hope this isn't the case for Johnnie. He was really run down yesterday and he still went to school. So he's better today and I was not going to hold him out. I went home hoping he would feel better when he's running around playing. Although, he has a pretty full afternoon with basketball and Spanish. I'm hoping he hangs on for the day so he could get even more rest tonight. In the meantime, I am due for a physical. Not for the regularly scheduled deal with my doctor. This one is required by THe Life Insurance Company I"m signed up for in Employee benefits. And so I had to fast for 10 hours. Since the physical wasn't scheduled until 11:30 AM, that meant I wasn't going to be having breakfast at all today. All I could do was drink water until the exam. I did have a demo with one of the Voice Vendors this morning so that kept my mind off of how hungry I was getting. I was actually concerned that my PSA level would come up abnormal. Or anything else that would turn up abnormal, like my blood pressure. I remember the last time I did this we were still in Lindbrook and I failed the physical because my triglycerides were so high it looked like I had a fattly liver. Or I was an alcoholic. It turned out to be nothing of course, just another number that improved over time as I changed my diet. Isn't that the case with almost all test results?! As it were, my BP came in at 138/88 which was elevated but not abnormally so. I did show her that I took a reading this morning at 127/80. My weight was fine (155) and we'll see what happens in the blood test. But the whole thing was done by 12;15 and as soon as she got done, I had rice ready already cooked, and shrimp and bok choy and chick pea masala ready to go. And that was what I had for lunch. And a fine lunch it was at that. 

Next up was picking up Johnnie. He asked to be picked up right after basketball. And I wanted to make sure he got enough rest today just like yesterday. So I picked him up at 4 PM. He was looking and sounding much better than this morning. And he seemed to have made it through the day just fine. I remember being a little harsh with him when he kept coughing as we were walking in to school. Shot him an angry look as if it were his fault that he was coughing.  Why would I do that? Because my ego had taken over and I had lost patience that's why. And THAT is not good. I sorted it out with myself and resolved tonight that I was going to do everything with a gentler, more loving touch with Johnnie. We went to Panda Express Westwood for dinner and did the Tuesday night routine. That included bringing dinner home and then making him cookies that he liked so much. And then at his request we went to the hot tub and I let him play with his toys in the warm water. If anything, it WAS warm water so I didn't think it would be bad for him. Also the fact that he was playing in the water meant that he was feeling just fine. Look at that smile in the picture I took. Can't tell I almost held him out for being too sick. In fact, when we got home, we watched a video on YouTube about how to handle a persistent cough with some breathing exercises. That would be to bring out the phlegm from the deepest part of the lungs. Only by getting rid of that stuff completely will he heal completely too. I tried to do some binaural beats for him while he slept since it works on me really well. I tried those that alleviated the discomfort for coughing. But I should realize sometimes it may take a couple of nights. And even when I knocked off early, I got up at 11 PM with the sound of Johnnie coughing and then urgently getting up and I could hear him trying to throw up. And he eventually did. In the toilet. But not before he did so in the trash box next to the sofa. And also he ejected in the toilet. Fortunately it was mostly in the toilet and some on the seat and not on the toilet floor like he did earlier in the year. I cleaned him up and then stroked his head and got him to sleep. Well this certainly blows off routine doesn't it? But at least most of the day was. That will have to do.

Why Working From Home Is Cool

So Lisa didn't tell me until the last minute (last night really) that (a) Silvia and Cecille were going to Vegas today for the next few days (b) she had a medical appointment at 10 AM for her medication infusion which is going to take a few hours. How does this affect me you ask? Oh I don't know... maybe because someone has to watch Johnnie while she is dropping off Silvia to LAX at 5:45 in the morning?! And because she needs a ride to and from her medical appointment? Of course she didn't tell me... simply because she knows I'm always available to help her and of course I will always watch Johnnie whenever needed. And so here I am half-asleep wandering out of my apartment at 5:30 in the freaking morning heading over to Lisa's house and when I get there I immediately head to Johnnie's room so I can continue sleeping. In the meantime, Johnnie had apparently slept through the night and I was wondering how he was feeling this morning, in case we had to hold him back from school today. When Lisa left he must have been aware that I was there because I heard this raspy "Dad, I can only whisper right now". I got him in his bed next to me in his room and got him to sleep some more until 6:45 which was usually the time I would get him up for school anyway. Lisa had come home earlier than that obviously and had gone back to bed as well. So Monday was already different at this point. I did manage to get Johnnie showered and ready for school with the thought that he was still going to go. Yes, his voice was raspy and he was coughing but I didn't feel he was sick enough to miss school. Except... for that puss coming out of his neck! What the heck is that thing? It had been flowing out since yesterday and quite a bit too. All I will say is when I got him to school, his friend James noticed it immediately and started spreading word that Johnnie was contagious! Great. Damn kids! I wish I had brought a band-aid and said so out loud that Johnnie should get a Band-Aid from his teacher. Enter his classmate Emari who must have been paying attention because she came up to Johnnie with a Band-Aid. Aww. How sweet was that! She notices him. Of course Johnnie is oblivious. I had to get him to thank her already. And so I left him there and before heading back to Lisa's house to take her to the doctor, I did 20 active minutes walking around the school. I am determined to do the Monday routine of 15000 steps and 150 active minutes despite the day already being so off-routine. Finally I dropped Lisa off at her doctor's at 10 AM and I got to go home with Claire. This being a Monday of course I had lots to do. Stuff from last week I hadn't gotten to. Catching up on my steps and exercises, though the pic I posted only showed me doing those pelvic stretches that are supposed to help the prostate. AND I made myself my usual tuna sandwich on SD toast and tomato soup. I finally felt caught up.

I was thinking I didn't need to pick up Lisa until almost 3 PM. And by then I was going to pick up Johnnie early too. Except that mom and son had a different timeline. First Lisa called letting me know she'd be done by 1:45. Uh-oh. I had a meeting at 2 PM. The Roadshow prep meeting. It's going to cut it close. I picked her up, she was out on time but it took 20 minutes to get back across town to her house. I had to do my meeting at Lisa's backyard. And I was 8 minutes late. And her internet kept dropping me. Oh well, at least I made the meeting and got through it ok. And almost immediately when the meeting got done, it was almost 3 PM and I get another call. It was Ms. Cardona, Johnnie's teacher. Apparently he thought he was getting picked up at 2:30 and was upset when no one came to pick him up. Argh! Who KNEW he would internalize being picked up early! I dashed on over to the school, picked him up, and everything was ok. In the meantime, Ms. Cardona let me know he was coughing pretty badly and was listless the entire day. Great... now I'll be judged for sending my kid to school sick<sigh>. At least I did get him and then we went to Trader Joe's. picked up chicken for tonight's dinner and dropped him off at Lisa's so he could sleep some more before dinner. It really is totally a THING that Johnnie will act sicker when she is with Lisa. I went home and worked some more, marveling at the thought that today would not have been possible prior to the pandemic. Today was made possible by the fact that I worked from home and I am grateful for that. When I returned to Lisa's house to pick up Johnnie, she was in the kitchen, preparing her bulk meals for the week. And she was making Johnnie chicken noodle soup. He was on the couch still lying about. He still hadn't recovered his full appetite I don't think, but he did eat a whole bowl of pasta. And his poop wasn't out of the normal. He still needs to catch up on sleep and rest I think. So we had a family meal for a Monday night and we all commented that his birthday decorations were finally all down and done. Of course I had to take the garbage cans in, do the dishes and Johnnie had to put away his toys and then finally we could be excused LOL and go back to the confines of my apartment. Tonight Johnnie is in bed before 9 PM. I'm pretty sure he'll be ok by tomorrow. I went to bed early too. I got a lot done today. More for Lisa than anything. Lucky for her I work from home. Lucky for me too :)