Johnnie's Odd Energy

I dropped Johnnie off at school this morning hopeful that his cough is just a little bit better with another passing of another day. Which really simply means I hope he doesn't have a repeat of that throwing up in his mask episode from yesterday. He did not do that to be sure. But he did not hang around his friends either. In fact, he purposely stayed away from there and he looked sad doing so. And I sat with him and felt his sadness too. I know he's trying to do the right thing. And I remind myself to back off from giving in to my ego and getting angry. Which I did a little bit of this morning. STILL. But at least I did not yell at him. I felt the anger. But I did much better at simply making sure he relaxes and breathes slower. That alone would help with the coughing I thought. As far as the rest of the morning, it's in the mid-80s out there this morning. Yes, it sure got warmer. Back to feeling like summer. I kept my meetings to a minimum this morning because it's the afternoon that seems to have gotten my schedule filled up. I have the CCALAC HIT Roundtable that I chair and then a run-through meeting with my co-presenter for FOM/IT in Vegas after that. I was tied up until 4 PM. And so I made sure I had a nice lunch. Went to Sprouts this morning, and got some nice chicken and mushroom and cooked it in my slow-cooker. The result? A really good chicken and mushroom over rice lunch! As far as the rest of the afternoon I did run the CCALAC Meeting, which was sparsely attended as always. Only 3 other Health Centers attended. Not enough to continue to have this meeting I don't think. Are my counterparts simply no longer interested? Does this group provide any more value? Do they actually value an interchange of our common issues anymore? I don't know really. Is it me? I know I was pretty hard on my co-chair Mendy. And he ended up quitting his job this week. Which meant he was no longer going to be co-chair. He was a pain in the ass, but he did respect my expertise. How do we draw more participants and get them to engage? I don't have an answer. But maybe I could think about it a little bit more...

After the run-through <which went by quickly... I expected that when someone knows what they're doing, which means by extension they know what I am talking about>. I focused on getting my steps in, but I had actually done a pretty good job of that in the morning simply running around going to Sprouts and what not. I was already up to 7000 steps and past 60 active minutes even before I picked up Johnnie. The plan was for Lisa to pick him up shortly after his Spanish class at 5:30. But you NEVER know with Lisa. Add Silvia into the equation and that doubles the uncertainty. I focused on what I had in front of me. I picked up Johnnie, and then let him have an early dinner. As in even before his Spanish class I gave him Trader Joe's pizza. This ensures he won't starve tonight regardless of what Lisa does and when she does it. He seemed to be in a little better mood when I picked him up but he was noticeably low in energy in his Spanish class. Usually, I'm telling him to chill and not be so loud and active. Today, I could barely hear him talk to his teacher over Zoom. She even thought they were having a bad connection. I kept asking him if something was bothering him. It simply wasn't him and I was thinking maybe it was ME. Or something I did or said. Or something not happening at school which he expected. Remember, he was really upset when he didn't get picked up at 2:30 on Monday when Lisa told him that was when he was being picked up. I had an idea that it was really all about Lisa's energy and that all that was getting projected on him, but I can't really say that out loud can I? I just made sure he was fed and when Lisa called at 6:30 I had him ready as per what we had discussed yesterday. When he got picked up I went back in and did some light meditating. I wanted some guidance on Johnnie and what, if anything, I needed to do or not do. I did not get a clear message. And really, it's in Lisa's court now until tomorrow afternoon when I pick him back up again. In the meantime, I look forward to a totally clear schedule tomorrow. Friday at last.