Finally Some ME TIME!

After a long couple of weeks where pretty much I was at the whim of Lisa and Silvia and whatever they had going on, and more often than not Lisa's ongoing emotional storms, a normal golf Sunday was very much welcome. No Lisa, no Silvia, not even any Johnnie. I love him to death AND I had pretty much had him for the past 13 days straight starting with his birthday party. Lisa can catch up with him all day today. In the meantime, I wanted to take another opportunity to see if I can yet again more into the mindset of a good golfer and actually play well today. Play well = hit 2 pars OR have at least 4 bogeys. I got us a tee time at Harbor at 9:40 AM today and got paired up with a guy who played like a scratch golfer, and 2 young guys who were typical hit-it-hard-from-the-tee but not much of a fairway game. Then again, didn't I just describe myself?? Today I was hitting the ball well on my first couple of shots, especially after I had warmed up after the 3rd hole. As in I would already be within 25 yards of the green after 2 shots mostly. Which meant I was hitting the ball ok from the fairway too. Case in point Hole 7 when I was already on the left fringe after 2 shots, Same as Hole 9. But in both cases I blew the chip and was way short on both. [I really gotta learn how to do a loft wedge from really short distances]. And then I left the subsequent putts way short too. I did manage to hit 3 bogeys, 1 less than Scott's 4. So all in all, we didn't play all that badly. I had a really bad Hole 2 [Gee what else is new] and I had an 8 on Hole 3. I missed par putts on 4, 8, and 9 though. I should have had a bogey on 6 and 7 too but I screwed up those putts as well. Oh well, at least it was a nice day for golf and as I said, it wasn't like I played all that badly. After the golf, I went to Bristol Farms Manhattan Beach for lunch. The traffic made me exit the freeway in the South Bay as it would taken another half hour just to make it to the my off ramp and I was getting hungry. I had a turkey sandwich and a mushroom soup. And then stopped at Sprouts in Sepulveda to finish my shopping. It was nearly 2 PM when I finally made it back home. And I wish I had plopped down to a nap. But I didn't. 

I did remember when I was trying to meditate this morning and trying to center on "walking into" the persona of a great golfer, trying to imagine all the great shots I was going to hit today, imagining how good I felt walking off the course because I played well.... Hmm, maybe all that not so much, but I did walk off the course fairly satisfied that I didn't play badly. Maybe THAT is the tweak I need to make. Not to be satisfied with hitting 3 bogeys today out of 9 LOL. If I hit 5 maybe I would have and I certainly had the opportunities to on 6 and 7. Yeah, 4 bogeys in a row and I would have felt pretty darn good. woulda. I also remembered doing a lot of meditation on EGO DISSOLUTION and working with my Smaller or Darker Self and making sure it does NOT take over or push me into situations I would rather avoid because it wants to permeate false programming I'm trying to negate. It thinks I'm trying to kill it. How can I? It's a part of me and I'm learning to embrace that too. I took a pic of my apartment pool on my way to picking up another shirt for Johnnie that I designed myself. Because it was such a nice afternoon. I had had a pretty good day to myself by that time actually and I would continue on by making myself a chicken and mushroom over rice dish, augmented by leftover mushroom soup I had for lunch from Bristol Farms. Was that a play-of-the-day? Nope... I would say that long drive from the fairway on 9 that went nearly 200 yards with my 3-wood qualified. Or the blast from the tee on Hole 4 that landed square in the fairway 80 yards from the hole. My best tee shot to that point. Or simply not having to think about what to do for Silvia, or Lisa or even Johnnie. I'd say I did my dad duties pretty well this past week. Maybe removing all the emotional stuff that took over when Johnnie was coughing in the morning. Yeah that throw-up stuff on Wednesday was not good. THAT was MY dark side and I need to keep working on that. Patience and LOVE is what I need to focus on because I keep getting tested on it. NO sooner than I realize this that I get tested with an email from Starlette from work regarding a report she needs. Yes she annoys me. Talks out of the side of her mouth half the time. But I have to work with her and I have to work on myself about dealing with her. If awareness is the first step, then I'm on the right path. BTW Season Finale of House of Dragon tonight was pretty good and I lulled myself to sleep watching Season 9 episodes of the Blacklist.  Things have started to quiet down again and returned to normal since Silvia returned to Paris. Can't believe it was already a week ago we were at Disneyland. Time is sure moving fast. Next up: Halloween weekend.