Me Day

So with no plans to take care of Johnnie today, I got myself a ME DAY. I wouldn't say it was much needed but I did feel like I needed some sort of RESET due to the imbalances, emotional, mental or otherwise that I detected all throughout the week. I did some meditation as early as I could and started watching whatever video would come up within the subject matter I usually watch by myself on Youtube. Youtube is good that way. I ended up watching a video from Gregg Braden regarding fractal time and how he developed an algorithm that could help you determine the patterns in your life after which you can then decide on a course of action for healing said patterns. I was skeptical until I did the algorithm for to test it. I entered the time I left Cedars-Sinai all the way back in the year 2000. I was 39. And his fractal time calculator gave me an age of 63.1 for a repeating pattern. Hmmm. Does that mean I leave for another job in September 2024? I would like to think that that would be unlikely considering how much I am trying to replace my current job income with passive income so I can retire. I then tried the year I started working for Cedars Sinai which was in late December 1993. Hard to believe that was nearly 30 years ago. I was trying to determine if there was a recurring pattern between myself trying to be an entrepreneur with real estate, but then having to file for bankruptcy because I did not know how to use credit correctly <financial lesson>. I also remember getting my hours reduced at General Dynamics and not really looking to hard for another job, which somewhat reminded me of 2006 when I got let go by the USC Dental School and trying to do the stock market at first and then started looking for another job. That was all I knew. That was what I did well. And I was not going to go back to stuff like selling advertising for small businesses <remember the fax advertising thing?> I had no patience for those kinds of things though I think in order to actually accomplish what I want to do, I'm going to have to give it another try, and this time learn how to focus and execute a system. There were always other distractions. The big one in 2006 being a new relationship with Lisa at the time. I think there is still lots of stuff I need to clean up and clear don't I?

So it was that I did do some inner work today. But I wanted to make sure I had a real R&R Day. And so I decided to go to the movies to watch the new AVATAR movie which I had been waiting for all year. It was going to be a long one and I chose the 1:45 showing at Century City. I parked near my old apartment on Beverly Glen and decided to walk to the mall (1) because I didn't want to deal with parking and (2) I really needed to walk since I hadn't done any physical activity at all throughout the morning. And so it was that I got my steps in and did my activity minutes. And I had some ramen at the food court before the movie. As far as the movie itself, it did not disappoint. Not me anyway. It was a long one too. By the time the movie was done it was already past 5 PM and dark outside. Wow. I had stuck around that long? I decided I might as well have dinner at the mall too since I was already here. I had some beef koubideh from Massis kabob. And decided to to get some shopping done while I was here. Not for anyone else obviously. I could use another hoodie actually. My stuff is so dated and old. The only hoodie I wear is the one I got from a Thanksgiving run... way back in 2005! That is 17 years ago for crying out loud! I'm surprised the thing had held up. Oh of course it did, I hardly use it. Off I went to H&M to get a new hoodie. And then walked back to my car. I note that I had passed some familiar landmarks in the mall. There was Toscanova restaurant. How many times did Lisa and I eat here back in the day when I could still talk her into going out to have dinner.  Of course other places weren't there anymore either.  But for me it was nice just to get around the Century City mall during Christmas time, especially since I hadn't done it in many years, not even before the pandemic made it impossible to do so. I mean there were singing shows and everything. And even a section that looked like old school Hogwarts stuff in Harry Potter movies. All very very cool. And so you could say that I had a pretty good time with all the ME time this afternoon. By the time I was done I was already at 50+ active minutes and already at 600 minutes for the week. Like I don't even have to play golf tomorrow and I had already met my goal for the week. And it was only 7 PM. But then I was feeling pretty tired. Maybe it was all that walking OR maybe it was all the internal work stuff that I think I do need to process still. I just spent the rest of the evening watching TV. Nothing in particular really, just old stuff. Person of Interest, stuff I had already watched. Even some Christmas stuff.  All in all  spending a huge chunk of time at the mall was pretty good today. It did felt a little old school as in I felt like I was back in 2005 and I was single and trying to entertain myself for the weekend. But as rare as this things go anymore these days, I will take it.

A Holiday Timemarker

So today's version of Friday felt like a time marker for me. Maybe it was because I thought I was going to be taking some time off the later part of this month and mentally I thought I'd be checking out right around this time. Or maybe Im mentally fatigued and want to check out anyway. As it was, Johnnie is checking out today. At least for 2022. It's his last day of school before winter break and they're actually being let out early. But I can't pick him up early just yet. That's because today I'm taking out my IS Team and EHR team for our holiday lunch. We're all meeting up for lunch at El Cholo's downtown, same place I took them to last year. I figured $300 of my own money for the group was plenty good enough. After all, I simply wanted to show my team my appreciation for all the hard work they do. None of them may be perfect, but they try hard for me. Someone's best is all I ask. I also note that one of the things that make me wary about trusting Eloisa is that once you get on her list, she simply won't see your value. Larry is one of those guys. Ever since that time when we were implementing Sharepoint and he didn't seem so sure of himself she has never trusted him either. I guess you can't blame her but he does contribute.  And then she told me Lainie isn't qualified for the EHR manager job. I wonder if she would have let me hire Justin all those years ago? Anyway at least I got to hang out with my team today. We enjoyed some pretty good Mexican food though I thought my fajitas had too little meat in them. Nelson led the drink brigade, even getting the team to do tequila shots. I think they had a pretty good time. So much so that the table behind us commented to us on their way out that they were living through us with those shots LOL.  That and we exchanged stories from way back in the day. By the time I got back home it was almost 2:30 and I decided that I'd pick up Johnnie early from school after all. And when I did he was still in the middle of making some ornaments. Still he was excited that he starts his holiday break right about then. He ended his 2022 pretty good I think. Look at the picture below with his classmates. Everyone is all smiles.

Johnnie didn't have Spanish class this afternoon either. Hayil his teacher called it off at the last minute and that was ok. For some reason I felt tired this afternoon. I was almost nodding off until I realized I needed to make Johnnie dinner.  He had already requested penne in chicken broth and a Trader Joe's pizza. And so I made Johnnie dinner and tried to get as many steps as possible. I was barely at 2500 at lunchtime. After all, it was Friday today and I didn't really start with a lot of exercise. Instead I did some energy clearing and emotional balancing. A good thing too since I started getting a whole raft of pings, emails, and chats from people at work. I need this, please help me with this info, here's some approvals from Sheng. I notice my irritability index rising some until I reminded myself to be thankful instead. Sure Barbara needs this and Dr Liao needs that and I got lots of stuff I need to be emailed out Oh and let's not forget it's the end of the pay week today. Why get irritated I asked myself? It's Friday. Ain't nobody getting anything tonight. They can wait until next week. What was important to me that I got Johnie's dinner and then he and I rough-housed around like we sometimes do. Only I remind myself he is now bigger and stronger than he was from a year ago and I need to be wary that he doesn't get a direct hit in or it's going to get hurt and I'd probably end up yelling at him. Hey I had to keep him entertained didn't I? Lisa didn't actually come get him until it was past 8 PM already. And we didn't make any small talk. Just a quick hand-off and I went back in. I noticed some uncomfortable feelings come up too. Maybe it was because I knew I wouldn't be seeing Johnnie all weekend. And that's ok. It's Lisa's turn. I made the hand-off quick to avoid showing the discomfort I was feeling. I told Johnnie I'd miss him this weekend. I'll see him on Monday.

The FRB Holiday Party

It's Thursday and as Thursdays go, it isn't supposed to be all that busy. No different today really although I'm supposed to be at FRB by 10 AM. But not for work, not really. It's our FRB holiday party and gift exchange today. Before I do that, I dropped Johnnie off at school, noting that it is the last time I'm dropping him off for 2022. Is that all that significant? Not really. Just time marking is all. He still has tomorrow before his 3-week winter break and for him at least, there's all kinds of last days of school stuff going on. Today it's a pizza party at STAR. Tomorrow, another pizza party for his class. I noted to myself that I'm still going to need to pick him up by 3:30 today because he has Spanish class. But the real big to-do of course was the potluck and gift exchange. I got to the FRB by 10 AM because I even had a meeting prior to all the festivities. And then when Noriel brought our IT Department contribution to the potluck, which was a large tray of panic, it was game on. At first it didn't look like there was going to be enough main course dishes for the 40 or so people that made it. But in the end everything worked out. There turned out to be plenty of food <see my plate in the pics below> and the gift exchange provided one of the funniest moments of the YEAR!! That being Greg who sat next to me, taking a ceramic salt and pepper shaker as his gift, and then Lito who sat behind me taking a look at it, dropping and breaking the thing. You couldn't make this up. Greg's present breaking right in front of him and right in front of me. I laughed so hard my stomach hurt way later on. But it was a fun time and I was glad I came. Pictures below.

Busiest Day Of the Week

As I noted in the title, today shaped up to be the busiest work day of the week. So much so I contemplated dropping Johnnie off and try to make it to the FRB by 8:30 for the Communications Meeting. It was a meeting I was supposed to be hosting. Then I figured why get all worked up and stressed when I can easily run the meeting from the comfort of my bedroom. And so I did drop Johnnie off but lingered once again to watch he and classmate James play and do their kid things before going in to the classroom. Watching them never gets old. And then I went home, made myself some Earl Grey tea and settled in to do the meeting. The meeting actually lasted more than an hour. Closer to an hour 45 minutes actually and my presentation went by uneventfully. I think it was more like it went way over the heads of everyone. That's how far ahead I am with some of the stuff I do. I did manage to give my usual lecture on cybersecurity. And then right after the meeting was a project meeting with DemandBlue and the Salesforce Grants project. I am taking a hands on with this one because there seems to be an ongoing disconnect with the project leader Greg and Barbara. If I have to hear yet one more time about how unimpressed she is with him I don't really know what I can do. I DO AGREE WITH HER let's not forget but like all projects, it will take my experience to help guide the workflow builds. All vendors will simply do what you say without actually looking at the quickest most effficient way to handle those workflows. That's my job I guess. And as it were, that meeting went by pretty quickly and uneventfully too. Hey what can I say?! I am trying to diffuse my own ego and egoic tendencies and remind myself that all I'm doing is solving problems. I also remind myself that there are likely no end to these flow of issues and problems and that in time, my own value becomes diluted as people get used to my work. Or the work that I do that isn't readily seen such as it were. But then again, isn't that simply a story I tell myself? That I don't get acknowledged enough? But what would have to happen for me to be acknowledged? And what would happen when I do? Those are better questions aren't they?

At least I felt like I already accomplished much before it was even lunchtime. And I did reward myself with some of those Trader Joe's thanksgiving style quesadillas and yellow lentil soup. And I ate that while watching the latest episode of WILLOW, the series of focus on Disney Plus right now. I didn't pick up Johnnie until it was nearly 4:30 PM and though already getting dark, it wasn't nearly as late as I used to pick him up back in TK. Tonight I gave him the option of picking where we would try to steer Lisa for dinner. Yes we're still headed to her office even though we don't do Spanish class on Wednesdays anymore simply because it had become part of the routine too. I know we went through a stretch there where it was not at all something we enjoyed doing because Lisa would simply be stuck in a negative loop that even dinner with us had started to become a negative experience. But lately she has started to do better ever since she got struck down by COVID. And Johnnie suggested we do the Dominos/Maria's double double that we did a few weeks ago. That would be getting a Domino's pizza for Johnnie, and then getting minestrone soup for Lisa with that rosemary bread we all like, and getting a chicken marsala for me. It's so much easier to simply order online and pick everything up and then bring all the food to Lisa's office. I think it's a win-win-win. We don't have to wait for her, she can obsess about her work all she wants and if we have to wait, then we can tide ourselves over with a piece of pizza in the meantime until she is ready to sit with us. Besides, it really doesn't take a whole lot of time to pick up either, even with the usual early evening traffic on Pico Blvd. So tonight, we actually had a pretty pleasant dinner. Lisa seemed in better balance, and though we can never truly get away from her office tasks, she still did sit with us and have our meal together, which is the entire point of coming to her office anyway. And so she got to see Johnnie, we did our share with Lisa thing, and we went on home by 7 PM still. A decent time that gave Johnnie plenty of time to watch any one of his favorite shows for more than an hour. I still got him to bed by 8:30. He has gotten sniffly since we let him stay up late Sunday night. And although I don't think he's really sick, he is fighting off a low grade infection. Still it felt good to be on the downward arc for the rest of the week. And it is now just about 10 days until Christmas...

Working Hard on Tuesday

I reminded myself this morning that people at work may be wanting lots more stuff than usual because of the holiday break. What holiday break you ask? People taking off not that there actually is a break. Heck we were even thinking about taking off ourselves for a couple of weeks. Now those plans were skunked when Lisa contracted COVID but certainly lots of other folks are taking off. I just decided that I wasn't going to let my ego get bothered whatever people asked of me and however they asked it. I reminded myself that I had an extra $4K just last Friday from unused vacation days that for sure pushed my cash on hand to over $100K. I mean when someone has over $100,000 in cash I think they would be doing just fine. Specifically, that represents over a year of income should something drastic happen. I'm taken care of no matter what. And that does feel good. I can just be dad dropping his kid off at school like this morning, watching his kids play and goof around with his friends. I don't have many memories of those for myself. Maybe it's because it was so long ago LOL, although I do note that my oldest friend and I still text each other every now and again (that would be Karl of course) though we haven't actually seen each other in person in a couple of years now. In the meantime my agenda for today was pretty straightforward. I need to get my content done for the Communications Meeting tomorrow. Though I have no shortage of content to present I still have to gather my thoughts. Then of course there were those other pings I talked about. Eloisa looking for data that ended up not being collected after all though her request and subsequent ping about it had Shilpa all excited and in urgent mode. I was more annoyed than triggered really and it was just a slight annoyance actually. Most of the time it's all about telling folks what is really going on and nothing is ever as easy as it seems on the surface. If it is, the response would almost always be instantaneous almost. Not Eloisa's request it turned out. It was something we couldn't do though she made it sound like it was life or death by tomorrow. They always do that don't they LOL. All you can do is the best you can. 

And so this being a Tuesday I actually had a pretty productive meeting with my EHR team in the morning about that EPIC Signal report. And now that I officially moved my meeting to mid-afternoon on Tuesdays it became my turn to be jerk of a manager. I basically bullied Sheng because yet again he irked me by not paying attention. Or so I perceived. I don't think he is as sharp as Kennedy was and is but I listened to my crew and here we are. It wasn't like I had much of a choice anyway considering my options at the time. Let's just say it wasn't my best hire and leave it at that. I guess it is up to me to manage. And God knows I'm not an easy manager. But I hope my team helps him too in how to deal with me. Yes I'm a jerk at times but I'm fair I think. Or I try to be. Anyway it wasn't like his indecision cost me like Noriel did in the summer. And really all I needed to do for work today was get my content ready for tomorrow's meeting. Which I did. And so by 4 PM I was ready to pick up Johnnie and start my real work day LOL. Except I didn't exactly make it at 4 PM. I was busy dealing with all that report stuff for Eloisa. Could it be that i was irritated at her as a parallel to being irritating like I was with Sheng? Something to think about. Anyway I didn't pick up Johnnie until it was 4:30 PM already. Which meant I had to not do Taco Tuesday tacos. Oh well. I have a lot of food at home anyway. Still didn't stop me from heading us to Panda Express Westwood. We hadn't gone there in a really long time. And so I figured we'd eat there just like it was Tuesday 2 or 3 years ago. And I had orange chicken too. I note that I'm back to eating regular stuff again. I know I can always flip back to the way I ate in the summer if my numbers go awry or if I start feeling less than optimal. I had a bowl same as Johnnie and it didn't feel like it was enough. That meant I had reverted to eating more. At least I kept it to a sausage and pineapple thin crust pizza. And for the 2nd night in a row, I had Johnnie go to bed at 8:30 PM. I didn't go to sleep at that time mind you. I was watching the HBO series WARRIOR. And prepped myself mentally for the Communications meeting first thing.  It's ok. It's the only heavy lift left for the week I thought. All good.

Rainy Days and Mondays

So that storm that descended upon us yesterday morning and then left by noon, is back first thing this morning again. And it was raining fairly hard. I thought of Johnnie when I woke up. I sure hope they make it to school on time. Ok, I sure hope they make it at all LOL. In the meantime, this being a Monday, I did a lookahead to this week and other than the Communications Meeting on Wednesday, really it's all about more Holiday celebrating isn't it? There's the potluck on Thursday and then my team lunch on Friday. As I said, I was happy that we're all getting to celebrate in person again. Even Johnnie has a pizza party planned for Friday for his last day of school for the holiday break. And so I went from meditating about the upcoming week - which basically heats up on Wednesday and then concludes with celebrations on Thursday and Friday and then it's a week until Christmas. And from all that meditation I went right to doing sprint steps in place right in my living room, and right in my pajamas. No need to get dressed and go outside at this point, it's pouring out there. I was thinking how Johnnie was going to get to school on time today what with mom and son having a late night last night. I would get my answer way later. But for now I shuttle between exercise and watching videos and audios and this morning I basically settle in on videos about the Kybalion and Hermetic principles. Basic and Foundational knowledge such as they were. No need to go much further than the first 2 principles actually. ALL IS MIND. GOD=ALL. And then AS ABOVE SO BELOW. All this to remind myself that 3D reality in the physical plane is merely a reflection of what is going on in the mind. Deep stuff for a Monday morning I know. But I did get to 5000 steps before breakfast. And the short choppy steps got me to 70 active minutes already before it was even close to lunchtime. 

I spent the rest of the afternoon, and the day really going back and forth between more audios and videos about the Hermetic principles and work stuff. Yes I still had stuff to do, meetings upon meetings, vendors pressuring me because their month end is coming up. Year end really. From all the internal work this morning I resolved not to let all these distractions sway my thinking. If I have to watch my thoughts in order to direct or redirect my reality, then the reason things are the way they are is because of these thoughts. And as I change the thought, I also change the reality. Seems so easy to say, much harder to do. I realize that the reason I don't achieve consistency in my golf game is that I have not achieved consistency in the way I think. Anyway I did manage to get stuff done and by 6 PM, I get a call from Johnnie. He's asking me to come to dinner with them. By then I had already had shrimp yakisoba for my dinner. But hey I'll come and eat whatever Lisa prepared. I had also gotten to 14000 steps and already past 150 active minutes. Just a routine Monday. It had also stopped raining around the afternoon too. When I came to Lisa's immediately she asked me to sit down. It was like she had a confession. Johnnie never did make it to school today. The reason was that he didn't feel well. Of course I knew he would be tired and be lacking sleep. I also would have made him go to school if he were on my watch. I realized the reason he didn't make it was that Lisa didn't make it out of bed in time either. Not much of a loss today since it is the last week of school. If he was going to miss any days, this would be it. Not that I was totally ok with me, but this time I gave Johnnie a pass. I sat down and ate chicken and rice with them. And then did the dishes afterwards. And for once Johnnie and I made it back to the apartment and it was barealy 7 PM. But knowing that he had stayed up until late last night, he got to go to an early bedtime tonight. As in by 8:30. I watched some videos on the iPad before I knocked off myself. It still felt like a routine Monday by then. I also realized we had Communications Meeting this week. Which means I have to get my presentation together by tomorrow. No prob. All good.

Basketball Evals and the Kederian DDS Holiday Party

So the Universe made it so that I could be at Johnnie's basketball evaluations today at Mar Vista Park. It is golf day of course and normally I'd just let Lisa take him at 9 AM, although the early-ish-ness of the event made me wonder if she would actually make it and on time. Turned out that the heavy rain this morning made us cancel golf Sunday (although I held out hope that maybe if it stops raining, i could still go out later when Johnnie gets done with basketball). And so with my day wide open, I went to Lisa's to make sure they make it to basketball. Of course Lisa wouldn't be ready yet. Of course she's giving Johnnie breakfast, not 20 minutes before the activity. But I held my tongue and simply helped facilitate us leaving her house as quickly as possible, even if that meant I had to do the dishes and help Johnnie brush his teeth. As it was we got there late. Not too late, as parents were still lined up trying to get forms in but the kids were already warming up on the court. Fortunately we got there in time for Johnnie to join them for the actual drills. Those drills involved dribbling the length of the court, shooting at a 10-ft hoop and if you missed, you shot at the 8 1/2 foot hoop and then dribbling back through cones. And then after that it was a 2-player passing drill, first regular pass, then a bounce pass. I will say that watching other kids, it was clear the bigger kids had no problem laying the ball up on the 10-ft court. Johnnie had problems reaching the rim, but he was not the only kid who couldn't do it so I was ok with that. I was rather impressed at his speed getting the ball down and with a semblance of control on his dribble. Yes we can work with something here. As for Johnnie, he seemed pretty nonchalant before his turn and was actually goofing with some of the other boys <see pic>. I think he'll do just fine. I would rate him as a tick under average for the rest of the kids right now and with practice, he can definitely be right up there with them, at least with ballhandling. Needless to say I was proud of his effort and I was also glad there were more than a few kids he already knew from school, including his girl classmate RaeRae and his nemesis, Ford. And so with that all done, we headed on home and I noted I was to be back by 5:30 to head to Lisa's party.

And so we go to the 2nd part of today. I had me some nice salmon kabobs from Crimson for lunch, noting that I hadn't had this lunch in months. And then I did some audio lower frequency meditations. I note that I needed to purge myself of old negative triggers and emotions so that I could at least help make Lisa's party tonight a positive experience for all, most of all to myself. Some thoughts kept repeating: FORGIVE THE PAST. BE GRATEFUL FOR THE PRESENT. ACCEPT INTENDED FUTURE. Sounds like a magic formula doesn't it? The only thing was that when I got back to my wake state at 3:45 I was still barely at 1600 steps for the day and only 5 active minutes. Mind you if I didn't do anything more for the rest of the day it would have been ok since I was already 500+ minutes and 70,000+ steps.  I could tank the rest of the day activity wise. But I couldn't and I didn't. I walked in place for a good 2 miles and when I got done I at least got to the point of better acceptability for the numbers LOL. I had to get ready for the party anyway. Lisa even texted me to remind me to dress professionally. See? I could just smile at that and not let it be a trigger right? I mean I did accompany them to basketball this morning as a ringing endorsement of my trust for Lisa right? So I wore my old argyle sweater, the one from JCrew that is probably 15 years old. So old it had a hole already that of course Lisa would spot almost immediately LOL. Johnnie was dressed just fine... except for tight jeans that were way too short by at least 3 inches and he was wearing those blue and white shoes that don't fit anymore. Sigh. I bit my tongue at her choice of attire for him as well. At least he had a tie on. And Johnnie did not seem to care one bit. I was not going to spoil anything, considering this was the first party I'm coming to in 5 years. The place was Kincaid's right on the water near the pier. And it was very nice. Johnnie completely embraced his role as photographer and made sure everyone had a picture. And they had a set menu too. Lisa had me order the prime rib so she could taste it while she had the scampi. Gee how things don't change do they. It was like we were still married. Of course the people who were there that had been with Lisa for a while know the full story of course. And Nikki came too. And Angie told me she was very glad that I came. And I was very glad I was invited. All in all it was a nice party. And Johnnie I think had the best time of all. He could barely contain himself with the ice cream sundae we let him eat for dessert and he was definitely bouncing off the walls. It was 10:30 by the time we got home and I put him to his bed. It had been a long day for him and for Lisa and I as well. But it was most definitely a very good day.