Tank Day

It's Friday, end of the week and a payday Friday at that. And simply looking at the amount and realizing I now have $100K in liquid cash sitting in my bank account is enough to be in a space of gratitude all morning. It is good to acknowledge that no matter what happens, I have enough to live on for more than a year already. And so after a round of meditation and locking in a tee time for next Sunday, I waited for Lisa to drop off Claire. I didn't think she'd come early, considering she hung out with us until later than usual last night. But at least she was in a very good mood when she left. As we would find out later it would not last. But that's her. I should have known something was going to be off for her when she dropped Claire off with a diaper. I guess she's in the middle of her period. A non-event for me really, I don't care where she bleeds, she is not allowed on the couch or my bed. In the meantime, I noticed that my schedule was totally clear for the day. It is a pretty good day for a TANK DAY! And so from breakfast on I planted myself on the couch and looked at my recreational viewing options. Turns out I hadn't really binge watched anything in a while. And there was something to watch on all of my subscriptions, multiple ones on Netflix. I realize that I also could have watched something on my learning needs list. I am particularly keen on starting on remote viewing. But really I simply was in the mood to let my brain rest and go on autopilot at least for the morning. Autopilot means not only NOT thinking about work, but also to get to Zero Point. Zero point is where one becomes nothing and that is the source of all creation. It is where one sheds ego and identity and instead be connected with everything. Binge watching Netflix is NOT getting to Zero Point. But since I hadn't had a TANK FRIDAY in a while, it was good to simply be on the couch. And I thought it was perfectly fine to spend the morning with Netflix. After all, ROSWELL has a new season on, Cobra Kai has a new season on, and WinX Saga has a new season on. Not to mention I really wanted to see what in the series Schitt's Creek attracts Lisa so much. I settled on an episode for all the new ones. And that pretty much took care of the morning. I made myself a nice tuna sandwich and tomato bisque soup for lunch and then I realized I hadn't had any activity minutes all morning. And so I got myself out of the house and took a walk around the neighborhood too... at least until it was time to pick up Johnnie. 

Johnnie's Spanish class got moved from yesterday to today, so I had to pick him up by 4:30. Which means we wouldn't be doing the Panda Express/Poquito Mas Friday night ritual from earlier in the summer. Instead Johnnie asked for pizza and spaghetti night and I was happy to oblige. I guess I'm having the kale flatbread from Sprouts augmented by pineapple and more mozzarella. Johnnie pushed for ice cream sundae at McDonald's and he mentioned going into the bigger hot tub in the other building too. I guess HE had an agenda for Friday night LOL. I was fine with any of those since everything was dependent on when Lisa would pick him up and I didn't think she'd get out of her office early. Yeah right. when was the last night she did that? As it was it was not until 7:30 PM that she picked up Johnnie. Not too late, but we WERE in the hot tub when she called. And she was already in the prospective tenant parking lot waiting. Actually she wasn't waiting, when she called she had to start whining and complaining about her day. Again. Nothing I'm not used to. But when she asks question like 'Have I always been dissatisfied like this?' I think it's a trick question. I mean it only cost her her marriage to me is all. I was pretty sure, as always, that she was more interested in actually being in a miserable state than solving her problems because anything I offered as a solution seemed like a non-starter to her. Since she was already in the parking lot I tried to get Johnnie back and dressed and handed off as fast as I could. I mean we WERE having a pretty good time in the tub. One of our M&M moments in fact. And so I get tested by the Universe again. At first, I didn't handle it well, which was to say I handled it like any other time Lisa gets into her dark, negative self. I just wanted to get away from her. I put Johnnie in her car and when she wouldn't leave immediately, I mentioned, maybe I should take Johnnie back in until she was ready to go. I was met with 'Why are you such an asshole'? I did not answer with what I wanted to say, which was 'because you are such an unstable idiot'. Instead I did a quick 'yeah that's really nice' and walked off. It would not end there. JOHNNIE calls me 5 minutes later and Lisa is having a full-on tantrum in the background. Damn Lisa. She's ranting and raving exactly like she did on me Christmas time last year. I do know it's just her finally getting to feel anger which should be ok, unless she's scaring Johnnie enough for him to call me. I got down there with the Claire diapers I had left in my apartment and by the time I did, she had already calmed down. I guess some hoonoonopono focus and releasing and protecting exercises helped. We come to find out what set her off was the sight of all the blood from Claire that had stained all of her beddings in the piano room. And so I did my best to help, which was simply to put those beddings in the sink to soak. She just got overwhelmed. She was much better by the time Johnnie and I got everything all prepped for the laundry next day. And I even helped replace the sheets. I guess it was too much to ask that I was experiencing pleasantness with Lisa interactions for the last couple of weeks. Still, her outburst did not affect me emotionally. Which is a win for me. I got some tacos on the way home like I did many times at the beginning of the year. Except no Pepsi. And then on to binge-watching Roswell. I thought I handled Lisa very VERY well tonight. All good.